Ultimeight
About this build
Two giant chocolate mints are filled with homemade peppermint fondant and presented in a black sleeve decorated with gold lettering.
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What the original account establishes
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- Usurped by the £8 peppermint essence After Eight, the makers justified a repeat with a 24-carat wrapper and made not one but two. The pimp-redients were 10 bars of super-cheap Sainsbury’s chocolate at £2.50, 2/3 of a box of fondant icing sugar with glucose powder at about 33p, real peppermint essence at 89p, clingfilm, shiny black card at 95p and a gold pen at £1.99, £6.66 in total. The microwave nearly caused an explosion because of foil in the chocolate, so the stove-top method over boiling water was used; a square dish was lined with clingfilm for the rippled effect and easy removal, a thin layer of chocolate poured in and frozen. The filling was icing sugar and tap water, no corn syrup, mint-tested to a sweet-toothpaste taste, spread over the chocolate leaving a border to seal, and frozen; more chocolate was melted, the sides filled first and the cream covered quickly, and the lot frozen for a final crisp-up. A black and gold wrapper copied the trademarks onto black card in gold pen, the mint was peeled from the clingfilm and slipped in, and a second was made the same way. Source 1 · Source 2 · Source 3 · Source 4 · Source 5 · Source 6 · Source 7 · Source 8 · Source 9 · Source 10 · Source 11
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First things first, we melted down the chocolate. We tried the microwave method and nearly caused an explosion due to the inclusion of some solid silver blingin’ wrapping from the chocolate. We switched to the old-skool stove-top method over boiling water.
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The original account
Yo homies, we had been planning an after-eight extravaganza for weeks but were usurped by a cheeky pimp-team with their £8 peppermint essence shenanigans. With a bag full of cheap chocolate and even cheaper pimper-mint about to go to waste, we thought we had had it, fo shizzle. However, we did have one last-gasp pimp-genius idea up our gold shellsuit sleeves. Yep, our Ultim-eight may appear like a mere copy to you eagle-eyed pimpers, but with the addition of a blingin’ 24-carat wrapper, we may have justified our repetition. And we made not one, but two. Stick that in your posh-pimpin-pipe and smoke it, yo.
Pimp-redients:
10 bars of super cheap Sainsbury’s chocolate. There are only 7 in the picture, but like all good pimpers we had some extra in the cupboard to stretch our pimp to the power of 2. Cost = £2.50
2/3 of a box of Fondant icing sugar. With added glucose powder for pimpin’ gloopiness. Cost = about 33p
Peppermint essence – the real stuff, yet still only cost 89p. £8 indeed, pah!
Bling-film. Cost unknown
Shiny black card. Cost = 95p
Gold pen for the professional touch. 24 carat, honest. £1.99
Total cost = £6.66.
First things first, we melted down the chocolate. We tried the microwave method and nearly caused an explosion due to the inclusion of some solid silver blingin’ wrapping from the chocolate. We switched to the old-skool stove-top method over boiling water.
Meanwhile we lined the square dish with bling-film for that authentic rippled effect and easy removal. Next, the chocolate was poured in a thin layer in the dish. Then, into the freezer to chill. Ice-cold, dawg.
Next step the delicious peppermint cream filling. None of this corn syrup schmorn syrup nonsense – here we were strictly old-skool with just icing sugar and tip top tap water. The mint-level was tested several times to get that genuine all-authentic sweet toothpaste taste just right.
Over the chocolate it went, leaving a space around the outside to seal with more chocolate, then back into the freezer. We figured we had to give the filling a fighting chance for survival as we were going to pour more steaming hot chocolate on top.
While things were getting cool in the freezer, we raised the temperature by melting more chocolate. On applying the second layer of chocolate, we quickly discovered the trick was to fill in the sides first then quickly cover the minty cream before it attempted to escape or mix with the chocolate, then back in to the freezer for a final crisp up before the big reveal. Brace yourselves.
Over to the graffiti expert for the authentic black and gold wrapper. First we copied the two registered trademarks with great precision onto the black card. Then filled it in with pure liquid gold. Bling-a-ling!
The final product was removed from the freezer, the cling film carefully peeled off and it was slipped into its wrapper.
Clearly in every way superior to its tiny namesake, and for comparison:
An After Eight that would satisfy even the most demanding gangsta rapper. Biggie would have been proud.
Having had so much fun the first time around we decided why not? And, sho’ nuff, made another.
With a short interlude for hefty black bean tortillas (all that kitchen work makes you one hungry son of a bee-atch) we then finished off the dinner party in the best way known to man, with an Ultim-Eight.
