The pot noodle is an icon in the snack world. Previous efforts to pimp this classic have been, frankly, pretty poor so I decided to set about creating the daddy of all noodle snacks. Inspired by the ‘bombay badboy’ pot noodle, ladies and gentlemen I give you…… The BOMBAY BEHEMOTH!!!
Ingredients; 1 bin, black card, 27 packets of noodles, Soya pieces (did you know there’s no real meat in a genuine pot noodle?), sweetcorn, peas, hot curry powder, cornflour and foil.
The original Bombay badboy is cannibalised into it’s constituent parts (not a lot there really!…)
To create an authentic, flexible, peelable lid, black card is cut out and backed with foil (honestly, I think I’ve flipped my lid)
The lid and label are scanned and printed in giant replica for use on the bin (If only Ikea and Staples knew what I was intending to do with the purchases I made from them earlier in the day!…)
27 packets of dry noodles are emptied into the bin – thank god their only 8p per pack. (That’s 1.7Kg of dry noodles by the way). Their mined in Wales apparently…
The raw ingredients for the ‘powder’ are mixed together. I have deliberately used hot curry powder. It is supposed to be a hot snack after all!
The powder is tipped onto the top of the dry noodles and the lid sealed – like a spicy sarcophagus.
Fortunately, unlike the ancient Egyptians, our sarcophagus is opened again very soon and, in true keeping with pot noodle “cooking instructions” we add boiling water (15 litres in total – our kettle nearly had a nervous breakdown)
It’s alive!!! The beast is complete. It did take a lot more stirring and considerably longer to cook than it’s diminutive companion, but it did cook properly. Total final weight: just over 17000g. That’s 68 times the size of the original and a whopping 27540 kcal (calories)! Now if I could just find a 30 foot tall student to buy it!