Assemble: 1 kg maize meal, 1 kg plain flour, multivitamin tablets so that the flakes are importantly ‘fortified with vitamins and minerals’, 750g butter, 20 eggs, 1 litre milk, 50g salt, 100g sugar, 1 kg chocolate and loads of golden syrup.

Step 1: Mix 100g maize, 100g flour, some crushed vitamins, 25g butter, 10g sugar, 5g salt, 2 eggs and 100ml milk in bowl. Shape mixture into 2 p*rnflakes on a tray and bake for 10-12 minutes.

Repeat x 9. Yup, there goes Saturday afternoon.

Step 2: Now for the cupcake case…beg increasingly irritated husband to drive me to the stationery shop before it closes.