Licorice Allsorts
by for £8.50

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6. Hurriedly scrape sticks out of bowl into greaseproof paper and replace in bowl. Cover, realize water is boiling over, and uncover.

7. After a further 15 minutes, examine paper parcel hopefully and discover still very solid sticks. In a fit of rage, hurtle entire paper parcel directly into boiling water.

8. Finally achieve some sort of sticky goo consistency, tip onto greaseproof paper sheet and begin to gracefully roll into shape. Discover liquorice is in fact substance of satan and hammer unrelentlessly with rolling pin. Allow to cool and cut into neat(ish) square shape. Use discarded edges to form round centre.

9. Return to coloured icing blobs. Split pink into two balls and roll into squares to sandwich liquorice square. Roll out yellow into long sausage shape, realize it will appear too thin round its liquorice centre and in a moment of genius use pale brown failure icing to pad the centre of the yellow tube (as discussed in step 4).

10. Repeat step 7 with further liquorice strips, but with newly discovered wisdom (having learned how resilient liquorice goo becomes) wrap in two separate packages in required oblong shapes before boiling. Assemble with matching fondant sticks to create checkered allsort.

11. Place “big up bassets” on a decorative surface along with original allsorts, and admire handiwork. Consider becoming professional chef or similar. Far too much effort and energy required for this project, but amusement value and final result definitely worth it.


Licorice (Glycyrrhiza Glabra) is a mild laxative, it is an agent which acts to loosen the bowels and is therefore used to treat constipation. Laxatives may act by increasing peristalsis by irritating the intestinal mucosa, lubricating the intestinal walls, softening the bowel contents by increasing the amount of water in the intestines, and increasing the bulk of the bowel content.

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