Pimp That Snack

Jammie Wagon Wheel SXi

by Julia Sealby & Vanessa Wilcock 13 photos Rated 87% 3,906 votes when voting closed

Here are the step-by-step instructions for the Jammie Wagon Wheel SXi

Wagon Wheels may have been the Snack Daddy when we were all nippers, but time moves on, appetites increase and marketing gimmicks are met with a cynical sneer (what once may have seemed ma-hoosive soon pales in the eyes of the Super Size generation). If the king of Wagon Wheels is the Jammie edition, then ladies and gentlemen, what we have here is a royal remix. It’s time to give the Jammie Wagon Wheel the Pimp That Snack treatment…

Ingredients:

Jam
Milk chocolate
Marshmallows
Butter
Shortbread biscuits

Ingredients on the floor: shortcake biscuits, marshmallows, three bars of milk chocolate and raspberry jam

Step one: All good confectionary Pimps begin with the melting of the chocolate. Melting complete, the chocolate is poured into the baking dish and sent to chill in the freezer.

Melted milk chocolate poured into a round cake tin to form the base layer

Step two: Show no mercy to the shortbread shorties… pulverise ’em and chuck in a mighty amount of melted butter, which, like the Force, binds the galaxy together.

Crushing the shortcake biscuits in a plastic bowl with the end of a rolling pin

A block of butter sitting on the crushed biscuit crumbs in the mixing bowl

Step three: The chocolate makes it out of the cooler and has a liberal layer of the biscuit mix piled on top. Precision here is key, the 5mm gap around the edge is vital. Once done, the dish is back in the freezer.

Spooning buttery biscuit crumb over the set chocolate layer in the round tin

Step four: Stop! Mallow time! A bag of marshmallows is blasted in the micro until it has the consistency (and temperature) of molten lead and is then spooned on top of the biscuit base.

Pouring melted marshmallow over the pressed biscuit base and spreading it with a spoon

Step five: This is Jam Hot! Microwaved jam (like fruit-based napalm) is applied skilfully on top of the marshmallow.

Spreading a layer of red jam over the set white marshmallow

Step six: We got a jam sandwich goin’ on. The second layer of marshmallow is added.

Spooning a second layer of white marshmallow on top of the jam

Step seven: Pile on the rest of the biscuit mix.

The tin topped with another biscuit crumb layer, ready for its chocolate lid

Step eight: The whole thing is topped off with more chocolate to seal and then chilled again to set.

Pouring melted chocolate from a pan over the top biscuit crumb layer

Step nine: The roll-out. Tension mounts in the Pimp camp as the rubberised baking dish is carefully peeled off… to reveal a perfect slab of Jammie Wagon Wheel action.

Check out the customised hard top texture. Precision chocolate engineering.

The finished giant Wagon Wheel on a board beside a normal one and its packet

Overhead view of the giant's embossed lattice top next to the normal-sized original

This mother weighs in at a hefty 2lbs 5oz compared to the piffling punk-ass 2oz of yer average wheel. Stick that on your Wagon!

Cut cross-section showing biscuit, marshmallow and jam layers, a halved original alongside

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