Flattenburg 2.0
by for £7.00

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Basic Structure

OK, so the cake is a pale pink inside. given the amount of red food colouring I used, I can't help feeling I've been had, but hey, it's about 38p a bottle, I'll use more next time. It is pink enough to give the idea, and it tastes good.

As I find out as I test the cutoffs left by the trimming...

The basic structure fits, although I seem to be revisiting a problem I have. I can't get my cakes to rise, it's baking impotence. My fiance says it doesn't matter, but it does to me. She suggests using a whisk, but I'm not sure having to use mechanical aids it going to make me feel better. Aah well, I was going for a reduced height profile anyway.

Melty jam

The jam goes on the oven to get liquid. I had a choice between apricot jam with bits in and one without, and I decided to try the one with bits in to give a fruitiness to the cake which perhaps one does not find with normal Battenburg - it smells good, but it proves to be a pain the the baking brush to apply.

Spreading the jam

However the jamming goes reasonably well, applying first to splat the pink/yellow layers together, and then the three dual-slices side by side.

It brings to mind the giant Angel Slice I have long admired. Perhaps a future project...

I have now entirely lost track of what tenses I am using, so here goes. I construct the Flattenburg's cakey foundations and turn to the sugary nutty pasty outer layer. Rolling pin and dusted chopping board I begin. All goes well for a few minutes.


The round chopping board is just for mobility purposes, however, when i try to remove it from the application board I feel the Marzipain...


Aargh! Rinkles and Rips begin to appear, proving that my rolling 'leetness is not as strong as my kung fu. However, a cunning plan occurs to me. It is not quite as cunning as a big bag of cunning things, but it is getting there, and is nearly as cunning as a fox with a degree in cunningness. I can turn the cake upside down into the good section and use the wrinkles on the base where people won't see them until it's too late. [Cue evil laugh]

A cunning flip

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