Pimp That Snack

Elephantine Animal Cracker

Once upon a time, two slightly crazy girls started talking about pimping a snack. After 6 weeks of pub discussions, they decided they would have to pimp up or shut up. But what to pimp? After everything they considered slowly appeared on the website, Animal Crackers became the only option.

An excellent option nonetheless.

In the name of research the girls invested in a box of Animal Crackers. After selecting some specimens for study, their bemused colleagues ate the remaining evidence.

And so to the pimp…

Eggs, Stork margarine, flour, sugar, Green & Black's bars and two packs of Cadbury Animals

Sieving 1.5kgs of flour and beating 6 eggs is harder than you might think. But our heroines weren’t going to give up that easily.

Amy sieving flour from a Tesco bag into a mixing bowl at the counter

Mixing 1.5kgs of flour, 600g of butter and 600g of sugar is grosser than you might think (and creates a disappointingly small amount of mess). But still they persevered. Adding 6 eggs did not make it any easier, but at least they got their hands dirty. Realising their biscuit was too big for any normal baking tray, they went the extra mile and pimped one!

An oven shelf wrapped in foil on the dining table as an improvised baking tray

Kneading a giant biscuit is the most difficult thing in the world ever. Weightlifters should incorporate this into a training programme. Then their (limited) artistic qualities came to the fore as they carved their elephantine biscuit.

Cutting an elephant shape from a huge slab of biscuit dough with a knife

And so into the oven. 12 to 15 minutes. Yeah right. 59 minutes, a cup of tea and a trip to Sainsbury’s later, he was ready to come out.

Two bakers sitting with mugs of tea while the elephant bakes

Cooking was nothing compared to waiting for the chocolate to dry, but 28 hours later it was done.

The baked elephant biscuit filling the foil sheet, trimmed offcuts behind

The giant elephant biscuit beside a normal Cadbury Animals elephant for scale

Total cost of £4.94, bargain.

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