Bourbon 2
by for £6.00

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Each hemisphere was then diligently rolled out to a proportion ratio 1 : 2.17857. Accuracy was paramount. Here is one of the slabs:

The slabs were then pierced to replicate the “ten holes of society” N.B. you should make the holes slightly bigger to allow for expansion when baking. To do this we used the rear end of a wooden spoon (it is worth pointing out that this end gets no where near enough use and glory in the kitchen).

Then it started to get technical. We found initial attempts to write the letters we have all come to love and cherish so much fruitless. Accuracy was appalling. This was not the way to build the foundations of society! In a quest for ridiculous authenticity a cunning plan was formulated involving integration of equipment not usually found in the kitchen. Our plan:

Step 1 - scan small bourbon biscuit:

Step 2 - using photoshop I drew around the lettering and scaled it to the pimped slab (35cm x 16cm)

Step 3 &4 - the lettering was then printed with the centre marked on it. Then it was placed on the slab and a pair of compasses used to accurately mark the positions of the letters:

After marking out, the letters were pressed in using the rear end of a carving fork. The performance of this utensil was of sterling quality and he levelled up several places in my kitchen all time rankings. This was repeated to both slabs to retain artistic merit; we passionately felt that the pimpbon would not be complete with out two sides despite that it would probably never get turned. The results were as follows:

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