Rice Krispies £0.99
Butter £0.53 x3
caster sugar £0.77
icing sugar £0.58
Werther’s Originals (chewy variety) £3.00
cocoa powder £1.57
a packet of Toffee Crisp Biscuits (for research and morale boosting purposes) £0.92
On a warm sunny day in Kent four friends had a dilemma: what was the perfect dessert to round off a summer barbecue for more than twenty people? The answer was obviously a massive Toffee Crisp Biscuit bar! After being caught by a friend’s dad sitting by the checkout and eating the biscuits, we decided it was time to head back and actually begin the pimp. We were genuinely quite hungry, so we stopped at McDonalds on the way (but that’s another story).
We started by making the distinguishing feature between the object of our pimping desire and your bog standard Toffee Crisp – the biscuit. These little balls of joy were made simply by mixing sugar, butter and flour in the ratio 1:2:3 using a smarmalicious Kenwood mixer. Once we had far too much dough we rolled it into balls which were put in the oven for about 15 minutes until slightly browned. We’re not wasteful girls, so we made the rest of the dough into a giant chocolate chip cookie which served as a well needed mid-pimping snack.
Next, we had to recreate the weird truffly centre that makes a toffee crisp more than just a chocolate rice krispie bar. We decided to melt a load of chocolate in the microwave and mix it with flour, cocoa powder, sugar and butter. The result was disturbing to say the least: it resembled some sort of mince, possibly beef. In a panic we added some icing sugar and although it still resembled mince it was easier to manage. We dared someone to taste it and to our surprise it was similar to a Toffee Crisp’s centre, so we went with that. The final stage of the filling was to add lots and lots of Rice Krispies and those biscuit balls we made earlier (Blue Peter stylee).
Conveniently, we had a tin that was vaguely Toffee Crisp shaped, so we used this as a mould for the pimp. As sensible girls we lined it with greaseproof paper so as not to end up with a pimpisaster. After melting the Werther’s Originals in the microwave we poured a layer about half an inch deep into the tin. We ate the rest. At this stage we put the tin into the fridge so that the caramelly goodness could set.
Once it was nice and solid we added the mince-like filling mixture and compressed it down. After repeating the fridge strategy we topped it with a layer of delicious melted chocolate. This time it went into the freezer. Top pimpage.
We all held our breath as the moment of truth came. By this time we had gained two hungry adolescent boys who had demolished our entire cookie (see earlier commentary). They were as concerned as we were for the welfare of the pimp, for now it was time to remove it from the womb that was the tin. We slid a knife around the edge, put a board on top, turned it upside down and prayed. Clearly one of the gods we prayed to existed as we managed to set the pimp free without so much as a crack. It was an emotional moment for the pimping crew and we had to take a minute to sit down and admire our baby.
However, it was still missing one final touch: the chocolate coating. While the underside already had a chunky layer of cocoa goodness, the rest was feeling chilly without its warm chocolate jacket. We melted more chocolate, poured it over the pimp and carefully smoothed it over. All that was needed was a final spell in the freezer and the pimp was complete.
For the obligatory cross section we somewhat underestimated the strength of our creation. A pimped up knife was necessary to break through the tough interior, so we somewhat savagely split our pimp in two with a meat cleaver.
Naturally the pimp was a huge hit at the barbecue, but we were all feeling too stuffed to eat the entire pimp as we’d been snacking on ingredients all afternoon. We managed half of it though and it was good, honest.