Scotch Egg 2
by for £9.53

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Ok so I was paying partial attention and this is all very clever (never underestimate the ingenuity of women with a purpose). So all that was left was to...

5. Remove the jar (oh by the way these were greased and filled with boiling water (apparently that’s important)) and add the yolk in the yolk shaped hole.
6. Microwave the whole caboodle.
7. While this is happening roll out the sausagemeat into a pizza shape (It has just occurred to me that this is becoming awfully recipe like and I am sure none of you are insane enough to actually want to make this) sorry… on with the show.
8. Ok the egg is in two halves now and needs to be stuck together with…. gravity (sigh). I think this could possibly be improved upon: cocktail sticks, marmite, bubblegum, anything would do (I may be in trouble when they read this).

Fig 5 The egg:

Ok now comes the carnage. Roll the egg up into the sausagemeat, a process that has only been described to me as sticky… How pleasant, the women then went for a tinfoil wrap around the egg for some reason (apparently to keep its shape they are yelling from the background… hmmm maybe screech is a better word) erm... sorry I digress and they:

9. Crumbed it (not that that is a verb but it is what they did anyway). I can only describe this as dropping a gobstopper on a floor covered in dandruff. (Observant people may notice this happened before the tinfoil) Coat the lot and…

Fig 6. Crumbed it

10. Pop it in a large Pyrex bowl and put it in the oven to bake for 30 mins (at gas mark 7, whatever that is) then put it on a baking tray to crisp… no foil here. (At gas mark 9, I think it’s a bit like why they need to know the weights of babies).

And hey presto… just two and a half hours of time, a kitchen that looks like a bombsite and serious loss of self esteem gives you…. a giant scotch egg. A total of 10 people came to view it… one of whom went to church so they could get a lift afterwards to view it (God working in mysterious ways and all).

As for me, my friend and I were charged with taking it out of the oven at the appropriate time and NOT EATING IT. Arrggghhh! You try sitting there with a couple of kilos of sausagey eggy goodness and not partaking (mmm… partaking).

Well here it is in all its glory:

Fig 7. The finished product:

And the obligatory cross section. (The small one is a quails egg):

Fig 8. Cross section.

So there you have it, the madcap design of nutty women given a challenge, the taste not bad, over half of it went in the evening. The rest is being gradually parcelled out to friends and families.

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