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Now for the bovine bit. Take 800g of beef mince......divide in two......then bash into the same shape as the frying pan to make sure it will fit when cooking time comes...

How's that for Two All Beef Patties?

Okay, time for the plan to come together. With All Beef Patty 'A' spitting furiously in the pan to my left, take Sesame Seed Bun Level One.....add Lettuce.....and Cheese. A Big Mac has one measly bit of cheese as evidenced in the photo I'm following, but cheese slices come in packs of 10 so it would be pointless to waste any. Notice how the slices at the front, like the lettuce, have been jauntily placed to protrude enticingly when assembly is complete.

Meanwhile the special sauce and lettuce are applied to Sesame Seed Bun Level Two.

After flipping the burger (well, not quite flipping; putting a plate on top and upending the pan, since I don't fancy pancake-flipping a pan full of meat and boiling fat) it's onto the cheese and some chopped onions complete this Layer One.

Layer Two, of course, has the Pickles. Half a jar should do it.

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