Peanut Butter Kitkat
by for £5.00

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This kit kat was cut in half to show the middle. Half went to work to be eaten, the other half was divided into topping and wafer; the topping I cut into squares to bribe some people at a meeting, and the bottom half was kept ‘just in case’.


After buying more chocolate, I had another go. This time, I poured the two chocolate types in stripes, and tied swirling them again. This time I had enough of the chocolate to use the long loaf tin as well as a shorter loaf tin.

Mistake number 2 – I also used melted peanut butter to stick the wafers onto the base.

I also used plain chocolate in the topping, but milk chocolate in the bottom section to stick the wafers together.

Mistake number 3 – I only had enough wafers and chocolate to make the long kit kat – the shorter one got abandoned after some melted peanut butter and a couple of wafers. Don’t worry though, it wasn’t wasted, as we shall see.

Once it had set again, and I had another nervous breakdown trying to get it out of the tin, I was disappointed to see the top hadn’t worked again. By this time I was getting ready to slit my wrists with the knife, but I merely cut it into 3, and gave it away.


Last go. I took the ‘topping’ out of the shorter loaf tin, and scraped the peanut butter and wafers into a bowl. After chipping away at the marbled chocolate, a pretty good pattern was revealed. Seeing an opportunity, I turned the topping the other way up.

I then crushed together the wafers and peanut butter, and decided to use this as a ‘sandwich’ again. Remembering the wasted wafer section from day one, I retrieved it, and placed that on top for good measure. Now all it needed was some melted chocolate as a binder. I couldn’t find any plain cheap enough, so I went for milk again.

I also contemplated chucking some toffee in there for good measure, but thought better of it. It was enough of a patchwork disaster as it was.

When I got it out the tin, I screeched the squeal of despair. It was rubbish, quite clearly. Oh well…. It tasted nice, and my brother-in-law said it was lovely grated over ice cream.

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