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Mega Massive Monster Munchie

Rated 77.24%
92 votes

When boredom and a kitchen come together, they often leave a dreadful mess usually one that gets left behind for months…But once in a while they fall into the pages of history as a Pimp…

Introducing the Massive Mega Monster Munchie, 5.75Kg of true Pimpiness. I wanted to Pimp an ordinary snack that all people enjoy and as I have a lot of pimping under my belt (This would be my 7th Pimp. Yes Seventh! 3 x Oreos – 14" In Diameter Each. 2 x Jaffa Cakes – 16" In Diameter Each. 1 x Gummy Cola Bottle – 2 Litres) I Thought a Munchie would be a great place to start, theres just one problem…They are pathetically small…

Step One: Gather all the ingredients together and take a nice photo…


4.6Kg Of Good Quality Chocolate
680g Of Dairy Toffee
350ml Of Double Cream
300g Of Biscuits (Crushed)
100g Of Butter
A 30x30x11cm Mold In a Munchie shape
Various Bowls
Clingfilm, lots and lots of Clingfilm

Step Two: After wrapping the huge mold in clingfilm do the old chocolate melting trick, about 4Kg should do it. And place a suitable bowl in the chocolate as it sets…Then revise for a German mock you have the next day…Oh No…

Step Three: Melt the butter and mix well with the crushed biscuits…

Step Four: Wrap it up in cligfilm and make a ball shape using a small bowl (It will make sense later) A pop in the fridge to set…Then do some more revision…

Step Six: Carefully melt all the toffee without burning yourself…I was reminded several times that if it gets on your skin it will stick and burn…Until the person that reminded me was told to shut up…Then the kitchen was quite peaceful…Good Times…


Step Seven: Let the toffee set in the chocolate mold (This involves taking the bowl out first…I used boiling water or you can wrap the bowl in clingfilm first…It would save water…Obviously) But then place the smaller bowl that you used for the biscuit ball I spoke of earlier into to centre of the toffee…Don’t for the love of god spill it into the bowl…Then you lose precious toffee…(Using a bowl instead of the biscuit ball saves the toffee and the biscuit is it goes pear shaped…Another Pimpthatsnack Top Tip…

Step Eight: Toffee burns, hunger pains, a clutterd fridge and two nights without sleep…It was war…The next few hours were vital to the mission…Some alcohol to calm my nerves (It was my day off, thank god for study leave) Remove the bowl, replace it with the biscuit ball and melt the remaining chocolate over the top (OTT) (lol) Leave to set in the fridge…I must say at this point my fridge shelves have started to bend due to the biggest Munchie ever made…

Here is the finished masterpiece…After the four squares were cut in by an A* Graphics Student…Oh Yeah…

And another spectacualar shot

Errr Right, Now Lets Do Some Statistics:

Weight: 5.75Kg
Dimensions: 30cm x 30cm x 11cm
Calorie Content: 27,940
Munchie To Mega Massive Monster Munchie Ratio = 9,900:1
Total Cost: £15 If You Get The Chocolate From Where I Did…(Secret)
Time Taken 2 Days


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