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Cornetto

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With the summer season upon us we felt it was time to take pimping to a
whole new level and create a seasonal theme. We present to you what we
believe to be the first ice cream ever to be pimped! Make way for the
Collossus Cornetto!!!!!

To make a Colossal Cornetto you will need:

3 x tubs of icecream, the better quality stuff for the top (needs to be
white not yellow)
1 x pack of chopped nuts
1 x bar of chocolate (although we bought 5 for snacking purposes)
4 x egg whites
1 x cup of flour
1 x cup of sugar
5 x tablespoons of melted butter

Total £8.66 (but we totally over estimated what we needed)

To start with beat the egg whites until they are stiff, or as Delia puts it
"until it forms soft peaks". (Try to be very mature and not giggle at
innuendos)

Fold in the sugar followed by the flour and butter.
Pour onto a baking tray and spread thinly
Cook for 3 minutes in a preheated oven (200C,400F, gas mark 6)
Take out, burn fingers, try to make a grid mark on it, fail. Rush back to
oven to avoid brittleness. Take out after 30 seconds, burn fingers again,
score grid with knife, accidently make holes in it, return to oven. Take
out a third time, burn fingers again, give up on grid marks and roll into
cone shape, run fingers under tap. Then realise the cone has flattened and
looks rubbish – go and have a cigarette to deal with stress (smoking kills!).

Start again, spread batter thinly over a baking tray, bake in a pre heated
oven (200C,400F, gas mark 6) for 1 minute. Place cooling rack over the
still soft wafer, return to oven and bake for a further 2 minutes. Once
golden brown (ish) take out, burn fingers, try to remove rack without
tearing wafer and roll into cone shape. Try a variety of contraptions to
hold cone shape: whisk, cardboard, hands, glasses, vase… but the best
method appears to be an adapted plastic bottle placed in a glass.

Melt chocolate whilst working out a way to plug the hole in the bottom of
the cone. Pour chocolate in to bung up the holes that remain. Paint inside
of cone with chocolate. Place in the freezer and gorge yourself on melted
chocolate and first attempt of wafer. Mmmmmm!

Stuff with slightly melted ice cream, fill almost to the top. Spend an hour
deliberating the next step whilst gorging on more chocolate. Decide the
simple approach is the best and place paper around cone to hold shape while
ice cream is filled further using an icing pipe for precision. Place back
in freezer.

Once hardened make pretty ice cream pattern on top, slightly off centre for
authenticity. (Still upholding a mature attitude and holding back the
giggles.) Place back in good damn freezer. Once pattern has hardened
drizzle melted chocolate, try to avoid melting the ice cream pattern, and
sprinkle chop nuts over to serve. Admire handy work and consider career as
chef!… eat more chocolate.

Try to take final photographs when battery dies on camera and replace the
collosus cornetto in the freezer. Leave in the freezer for the next two
months because you are too unorganised to meet up and take the final photos.
Finally meet up once the summer is virtually over to take the final
photos.

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