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Caramel Hand

Rated 64.03%
160 votes

Cadbury’s Fingers are, well, a bit rubbish. Boring, small, yet nice none the less. They could be pimped up a bit.

Nah, something still missing. Oh, wait, the CARAMEL ones are ace. And quite blingin’.

But that’s still not quite right. You know, we need a whole HAND.

Ingredients

Biscuit Base:
3oz Flour
3oz Sugar
3oz Margarine

Caramel:
2oz Sugar
1oz Butter
A little milk

Chocolate:
1-2 bars of Tesco Value dark cooking chocolate

Cost: ~£5

Here we see the natural habitat of Homo Studensis Cantabrigiensis. Note the collection of clutter in the periphery, the computer, the packet of ice cream wafers awaiting a pimp, and a battered copy of Delia Smith’s Complete Cookery Collection. Sham on!

Let me tell y’all what’s it’s like, being male, middle-class, and white. It’s grease proof paper if you don’t believe, tracin’ round my pimpin’ hand.

Too busy pimpin’ to take a shot of the biscuit mix, but it’s then shaped into the handy hand shape, with a dip in the palm bit – we’ll need that later, mo’ fo’s.

In da hood, er oven, for 15/20 mins on a blingin’ 190 Centigrade! Big it up for the East Anglia Massive until golden brown.

Tasty tasty! Me shorty will love the shortybread.

It’s bubblin’ a hot hot hot caramel!

It’s looking good! Proper chewyness comin’.

I pity the foo’ who’s caramel ain’t down with it.

So while I think of a new way to fix the caramel, spread the chocolate (which has been nuked on High) on the base. Leave it chillin’ in the fridge. (Do some General Relativity Examples Papers while you wait)

Mix you milk with my caramel, milky milky goo. A bit of milk (or cream if you’re extra bling) gets the caramel back on course.

Here’s that dip now filled, and some spread on the fingers. Proper face-of-bo. Chillax it for a while.

Here, CantabSnacks went out for the night, to the venerable Cambridge Union Society for another entertaining debate. There was much rejoicing. And there may have been some consumption of this new-fangled alkyhol. But not much. We students don’t drink, no sir we don’t like the taste.

Spread delicious tasty melted chocolatey goodness over the hand, it’s looking proper west side, heavy hit (of calories) after heavy hit. Chill with the homies, maybe do a little Nuclear Physics, or just go to the pub.

Bling!

Final step: invite your shorty round and finger her (or thumb, it’s all got that biscuitycaramelly goodness.) Don’t forget obligatory cross section. Can you see the tasty caramel? No? Well, it is there.

No comparison, ’cause ‘The Man’ at Sainsbury’s don’t sell ’em. However, it’s as big as my hand, foo’. WIKID INNIT!

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