Bloomin’ Big Happy Face Biscuit: the archived recipe

Condensed from the original account by Carole H, published 2006-08-15. The quantities and method are the contributor’s; this is not a new kitchen test.

Ingredients recorded

600 g soft margarine or butter for the biscuits, 300 g per biscuit

300 g caster sugar, 150 g per biscuit

1 kg 50 g plain flour, 525 g per biscuit

200 g soft margarine for the filling

500 g icing sugar

Half a jar of seedless raspberry jam

The account lists 800 g of margarine and 1 kg 50 g of flour in total and then gives the per-biscuit amounts used; this card shows both. The biscuit measured 27 cm across, was not weighed, and no cooling time is recorded.

Method recorded

Make each biscuit separately. Beat 300 g margarine until soft, add 150 g caster sugar and beat until fluffy, then mix in 525 g plain flour a little at a time until it forms a dough.

Roll out the dough and cut a large circle using a dinner plate as a template. Bake on a floured tray at gas mark 4 for about 30 minutes until cooked, then slide it carefully onto a rack to cool.

Make the second biscuit the same way. Before baking it, cut a smiling face into the dough on the floured tray, copying one of the expressions from a packet of the original biscuits.

Beat 200 g margarine with 500 g icing sugar for the filling and pipe or spoon it onto the plain biscuit in blobs arranged like a flower, as the original biscuit is filled.

Spoon the jam into the middle of the flower and carefully place the face biscuit on top.

The original account

I must admit, I hadn’t heard of this site until I saw the segment about it on the F-Word, but after I checked it out I couldn’t get the thought of massive biscuits out of my head.

As a woman and a mother I know a LOT about biscuits, mostly how to devour a whole packet in one go, so I decided to go on a mission and pimp a massive biscuit of my very own – it’s a mother’s job, right?

But what could I make? Trawling through my cupboards I came across the perfect subject, a Jacob’s Happy Face Biscuit – a favourite of both mine and my children’s.

The ingredients for the whole biscuit were:

Half a jar of Raspberry Jam (seedless)
500g Icing Sugar (for the filling)
800g Soft Marg or Butter (depending on finances of course)
300g Caster Sugar
1kg 50g Plain Flour

Icing sugar, raspberry jam, flour, caster sugar, margarine and a twin pack of Happy Faces biscuits

Total cost: About £5

I decided to make the biscuit mixture in two halves, so if the 1st lot went wrong I would only be wasting half the mixture.

To make each biscuit I put 300g marg into a bowl and beat until soft, then I added 150g of caster sugar and I beated it again until it was fluffy (i.e. you cant tell the difference between the marg and the sugar). Finally I mixed in 525g of plain flour, a bit at a time (and although, as a mother, I encouraged my 7 year old to have a go at the mixing, maybe this wasn’t the right time cos she/the kitchen/me ended up like a snow storm!!)

Pale creamed butter and sugar being beaten with a wooden spoon in a glass mixing bowl

A ball of pale biscuit dough in a glass bowl, a smiley face poked into its surface

When all the flour was in, the mixture resembled a dough. I rolled out the dough and cut out a large circle (I used a dinner plate) and then baked it in the oven on a floured baking tray, gas 4, for about 30 mins until it was cooked.

A huge disc of dough rolled out on a floured baking sheet and pricked with fork holes

When it was cooked I carefully, I mean REALLY carefully slid the biscuit onto a wire rack to cool and then made the 2nd batch of dough in exactly the same way.

Now, I decided to use a real Happy Face Biscuit to copy a face from, so I bought a packet of the biscuits. But it wasn’t until I opened the pack that I (and my 7 year old assistant) realised that there are 6 different expressions to choose from!!! What a dilema!!!

Six small face-stamped sandwich biscuits arranged in two rows on the grey worktop

A couple are cute with hair etc but a couple others were downright scary – my 7 year old said they would give her nightmares, so I ate those to save her from the trauma they may have caused (I’m good like that).

Anyhow, with the help of a few ‘Funmums’, I decided on the Happy Face that looked the happiest and carefully cut the face out of the dough (after I had transferred it to a floured baking tray) and I must admit, it looked pretty good. I then cooked the biscuit in exactly the same way as the 1st biscuit.

Giant raw dough face on a floured tray, with a single normal-sized biscuit beside it for scale

Then after both halves had cooled I made the icing (200g soft marg and 500g icing sugar mixed together) and I split an original biscuit to see exactly how it was spread inside and I was amazed to see it was in little blobs, like a pretty flower pattern, so i did the same (on a larger scale of course).

Buttercream piped around a pool of raspberry jam on the baked bottom biscuit, jam jar behind

I then finished the filling off by putting jam in the middle of the flower and carefully placing the ‘face’ biscuit on the top (being careful not to break the face in the process because this would have been a disaster).

Side-on view of the sandwiched biscuit, a thick cream layer between two baked halves, mug behind

Then it was finished! I had done it! Created the ultimate ‘pimped’ master-piece – the Bloomin Big Happy Face Biscuit which I named ‘Dunk-an’!!! He measured a massive 27cms in diameter and weighed a lot (forgot to weigh him!)

The finished giant Happy Face biscuit beside a mug of tea and one normal-sized original

I did it in the name of all Funmums out there and of course for the enjoyment/entertainment of my children (as any good mother would). When ‘Dunk-an’ was finished I felt like I had created another child of my own – so you can imagine my devistation when my husband cut him into bits – mind you, HE TASTED GOOOOOD!!!

A wedge cut from the giant biscuit, revealing layers of cream and jam inside

Bloomin’ Big Happy Face Biscuit

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