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Beast Feast

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After many missed opportunities: Fondant Fancy’, the ‘Iced Gem’, the ‘Flying Saucer’ to list but a few, we decided to pimp the ‘Feast’ ice-cream before we were beaten to it.

After tossing the idea around for a while, we decided that the first port of call was to the hardware store. And so we headed out on a journey of discovery. Here we selected the perfect piece of wood for the role of the lolly stick. The nice nice man in the hardware store understood our plight and offered his services in creating the perfect pimped out feast. With our stick sporting new rounded edges, it was all ready to become part of the dream.

Destination: Supermarket. This was the first of the four journeys to a supermarket that were essential to the pimping process.

Met with the devastation of our 24 hour Tesco not having any chocolate ice cream we headed to Asda where we picked up the essentials for our monster. We raced through the checkout and then home, only to discover that we had left the customised lolly stick at the checkout. We quickly checked for the phone number for our local Asda, and rang them up describing the calamity; however we reached a wrong number, thus confusing an old women who disputed we had left our lolly stick at her checkout.

We safely retrieved the lolly stick and took it home to prepare out feast. It was on this voyage of discovery that we were faced with the cruel truth that a feast, despite popular opinion to the contrary is not made with nuts, but in fact biscuit. .

Preliminaries
We had to ensure that the creation was proportionally correct. This involved a lot of geometrical calculations.

Step1

We made our mould; obviously to scale. This took a lot of precise mathematical calculations.
The moulds were made with several monster sized cereal boxes lined with cling film. This allowed a clean turn out.

Step2

To make the giant chocolate lolly, that is the heart of the feast, we melted four 300g bars of chocolate flavoured cake covering over a pan of water and poured it into the mould with the lolly stick pushed through the lolly stick flap specifically designed for its entry.

Step 3

Rich tea was the biscuit of choice; it was crushed and added to the chocolate flavoured cake covering we had selected from our friendly Asda store. This created the bobbly effect required for the shell of the feast. It was poured into its mould. Each side of the beast took half a packet of rich tea biscuits and two 300g bars of the chocolate flavoured cake covering we were growing to love so much.

Step 4

To create the sides of the gargantuan ice cream delight, we had to make another visit to the supermarket to pick up so more of the chocolate flavoured cake covering, and rich tea. This time a simple trip to Tesco fulfilled our pimping needs.

The side panels of our feast took two packets of the 300g chocolate flavoured cake covering and half a packet of biscuits of the rich tea persuasion. This was formed in two simple strips, recycling an earlier used mould. It is always important to think about the environment when pimping.

Step 5

The outer shell of the feast was ready to be secured together to create a reciprocal for the ice cream to lie in; covering the chocolate lolly like a giant sleeping bag, except keeping it cold rather then warm. For this task we had to introduce another ingredient at such a late stage in the game. It is what I like to call chocolate glue. (It is more commonly known as monster crackling sauce, enjoyed on ice cream the nation over)

Step 6

Ice cream was smothered into the shell. First a thick layer to rest the lolly in. We then built the ice cream around it packing it into the crevices of the structure, with all the technical grace of a bricklayer with 30 years experience.

Step 7

The front of the feast was placed on top of the chocolate extravaganza, thus completing the pimp.

Step 8

Enjoy before the ice cream melts all over your work surfaces.

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