Baby Bertie
600g Box of Liquorice Allsorts: £2.50
Breathing life into the living embodiment of sweet-toothed-cheekiness: priceless
Opa!! This is me, chef, next to a box of treats that imprisons everybody’s old favourite, just waiting to get out.
All we need is a little chef magic, and a bit of imagination. I just wave my conveniently positioned arm like so, and it begins…
Wait…I’m not doing this now…they’re moving of their own accord! They’re taking a kind of humanoid shape before my eyes…
I should have known, our character now coming to life is not based on accurately sized and scaled pieces like in his picture at all!…I shall have to add to the magical mix a little bit of wizardry with a novelty oversized knife – whilst still waving my arm of course – very important that…
It’s coming together, I can’t believe it, surely this freak of nature cannot truly live, never mind stand. Hmmm, maybe the hat’s the key…
IT’S ALIVE! The lord of liquorice – the all-seeing allsort himself! I tell you what he’s a lot shorter in real life.
How about a photo for the viewers? I’ll just sit next to you, and wave my arm..like..so..
Hold on…where’s that noise coming from? Whatever it is it sounds….huge…I’ve never heard anything like it…like an enraged elephant falling off a precipice or something…omigosh it’s coming right for us…
I can’t believe it..it was him, but just so…Bertie, Bertie? Can you hear me? Speak to me?
Oh well, waste not want not…..mmmm!
THE END?
Coming soon……What frightened Baby Bertie so much?
