Ten Tonneocks Teacake
by for £4.50

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We then put the mould back into the fridge to set.

It was then time to tackle the most challenging part of our pimp. The marshmallow…

The recipe called for boiling sugar to skin stripping temperatures exceeding 200 degrees. Quite frankly, we were terrified. Deciding not to pour ourselves a couple of vodkas after all, we set to work… We cut our 12 leaves of gelatine into small strips. Adding a cup of water per leaf, we then allowed this to stand for ten minutes while the gelatine ‘bloomed’. Then taking a large saucepan, we added two cups of castor sugar, one cup of water, and a hefty dose of the glucose syrup. Fingers crossed once again, we cranked up the heat until the mixture was bubbling furiously like a volcano. This was then poured into the gelatine mixture, whilst whisking at a slow speed to avoid injury/death. Once we realised we weren’t at any real risk of third degree burns and a trip in an ambulance, we added a splash of vanilla essence, and turned up the whisk to full speed until (by some miracle) our marshmallow became thick and fluffy. We then placed this by an open window to cool and set.

We then added another 200g of chocolate in a smoother layer to our balloon mould, and returned it to the fridge to solidify.

Once marshmallow and chocolate were ready, the monster began to take shape…

Popping our balloon was the moment of truth for our enterprise, and worked surprisingly well as we were left with a cycling helmet of thick chocolate.  Turning this upside down, we filled it with marshmallow and trimmed down the edges with a hot knife to accommodate the biscuit base. We then flipped the beast on its head. Melting the remaining 300g of chocolate, we poured this over our teacake to give it a smoother finish. The whole thing was popped back in the fridge to harden.

We then removed any excess chocolate from the edges with another hot knife.  Here’s what we came out with:

Now for the wrapper!!! Equipment needed: Tin foil, red permanent marker, patience of a Saint.

And here’s the finished article, wrapped and ready to go next to his comparatively malnourished companion.

Now, ladies and gentlemen! With another hot knife in hand, the moment of truth! The cross-section!!!

The finished article weighed in at just under 1.4 kg, was 23cm in diameter, 17cm tall and tasted great… if sugar is your thing, that is… taking the thing to work was met with faces of glee.

So, all in all, a pretty successful first time pimpin’ project!

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