SPLICED SPICE TURNTABLE TERRORISM
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7. For this bit of the pimpage, for the first time ever, someone else was in the room. My friend Cakey was amazed that after melting the chocolate and pouring it over the top and around the sides, I put the chocolate coated bowl straight into a sink full of soapy water.

8. Once hardened overnight, I turned it out of the dish. Luckily the foil came away from the dish, but the foil didn’t come away from the chocolate. Sod it. I took it downstairs with all the decorating stuff, and drank Smirnoff Ice until it melted a bit. You can see from the picture, I eventually got the foil off, but the top was as I feared a bit creased. Doesn’t it look like a tablecloth?

9. Look at the state of this! Using ready to use icing, I stuck fruit pastilles on the top to make the very image of a turntable. Can you tell that’s a record, needle arm and 3 buttons? No. I think you’ll find you’re wrong.

10. Cutting it in hard was really hard work. The melted mars bars rehardened again to the approximate toughness of diamonds. The ones I didn’t melt were actually delicious sandwiched with the wafers, and even though a mouthful with a bit of everything WAS indeed revolting, separately it was still delicious.

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