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Pimpermint Pattie

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Right, so on this side of the Atlantic, many of the pimped-out chocolates and confections aren’t really available to us. Knowing that our chocolate generally pales in comparison to that of the British, we knew that not only did our Pimpin’ Project have to be original, we knew it had to kick ass.

And thus, the creation of the New York Pimpermint Pattie.

First step, rounding up the goods:

2 lbs dark chocolate
3 lbs confectioner’s sugar (plus one more to boot)
2 eggs
corn syrup
peppermint extract
2 York Peppermint Patties for study & inspiration

Get to crackin’ them eggs and chucking the yolks. (Note to selves: try not to spill yolk on counter.) Next, whip up dem whites till they be fluffy like clouds. Little by little, add in 8 cups of the sugar and mix it up with the whites.

Now, deep breath here, add 1 1/3 cups of corn syrup and get to kneadin’ that up, with your HANDS. (Feel free to squeal while others double over with laughter as you fear you will be cemented into said mess.)

While dealing with the cement, add in your peppermint extract, 3 tsp or so. Keep adding in sugar till you wrangle that mess into one sexy ball of dough.

Melt one pound of chocolate over a double boiler. As that’s going, roll out your dough and form a nice flat disc. (Be sure to cover your surface and rolling pin with cornstarch or else!)

Cover and smooth one side of sugary-minty-goodness with your chocolate. Shove it in freezer for a bit till it hardens. Flip that baby over. Repeat chocolate-melting and chocolate-pouring on the rest of the pattie. Be sure to create a nice wave pattern on the top! Stick it back in freezer and go to bed.

Next morning, take the Pimpermint Pattie out. Marvel at its beauty and take photos of it next to is puny ancestor.

Have some breakfast before you cut that slut in half. Arrange in magazine-worthy photo style.

The Pimpermint Pattie weighed in at about 6 ½ pounds or 2.95 kg. A York Peppermint Pattie is a mere 39 grams. The Pimpermint Pattie is over 75 times bigger! PO PO ZAO!!!


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