Pimp That Snack

Phondant Phancy

by Chloe Bird 9 photos Rated 84% 265 votes when voting closed

The fondant fancy is often overlooked as a snack, three colours of cakey goodness, plus a dollop of creamy icing. It is a scientific fact that an average sized fondant fancy increases intellect (based on a sample of one person eating them constantly through the revision period for GCSEs, A levels and university exams. Oh yes, not only am I a snack pimp, I’m an educated snack pimp. Joint honours in snackology and culinary genius).

I realised that in my final year the average fondant fancy may not be enough to pull my sorry ass though my exams (they’re good, but not that good). Thus a new generation of fancy was needed, a giant fancy, one to dominate over the fancy world. A Phondant Phancy.

Ingredients:
250g caster sugar
150g margarine
2 eggs
250g flour
250g butter
500g icing sugar
Yellow colouring
Lemon flavouring
Dark chocolate

Ingredients laid out: sugar, butter, eggs, dark chocolate and a box of shop-bought fondant fancies

I decided to pimp the yellow fancy, for two reasons: firstly, yellow is evocative of gold the most pimptastic of all the metals. Two: the yellow one is by far the best fondant fancy. If you disagree, you are wrong and I will pimpslap you into next week, mofo.

A single shop-bought yellow fondant fancy in its paper case on a wooden table

I combined the flour, sugar, margarine and eggs into a cake mixture and lovingly baked it for 20 minutes at 180 degrees. Being a culinary genius is all about time management so whilst the cake was cooking, I made all the icing.

Square sponge baked in a paper-lined tin, cooling on the hob

Bowl of bright yellow icing being stirred with a spoon

The cakey base needed to be taller so I used a big knife and a bit of butter icing, voila, a stacked out cakey base. (future pimps note: it might have been a better idea to make two cakes, but I ran out of sugar, and the shops were shut)

Sponge trimmed into a tall layered block sitting on a round wooden board

The creamy icing from the original fondant fancy was full of crazy additives (which I found shocking, for these things to be included in such a wholesome and natural looking product). So I used butter Icing instead. The large dollop was created.

I transferred the cake to its final housing a ginormous case (made with my own fair hands, from regular greaseproof paper), where I iced the beast with some awesome yellow goodness.

Yellow icing poured over the layered sponge block, domed on top and dripping down the sides

With the fancy now almost complete, all that was left to do was add the chocolate decoration.

Dark chocolate drizzled in stripes over the set yellow icing, sat in an outsized paper case

And there it is! The king of fancies. The Phondant Phancy.

The finished giant fancy in its huge paper case beside a normal-sized one for scale

Giant fancy cut open, wedge removed to show the sponge layers inside

I reckon there’s about a billion calories in there.

More like this