Pimp That Snack
Language: English

Monster Tuc

About this build

A cheddar and mustard biscuit is cut to an enlarged template, patterned with holes and baked to recreate a giant Tuc-style cracker.

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Read the original account and photographs ↓
Baked giant TUC filling a dinner plate, with a normal TUC cracker below for scale

What the original account establishes

These notes distinguish the recorded result from quantities or settings the contributor did not specify. Follow each source link to the original passage.

  • The listed dough made the giant biscuit and a batch of smaller cheese biscuits, so it is not a measured one-biscuit quantity. The account records a 20-minute bake at “190º” without identifying the temperature scale. No finished dimensions or precise batch yield are given. Source 1 · Source 2 · Source 3
Notes from the contributor

Selected passages from the original account. Quantities may describe shopping, tests or the final build; follow the linked passage for its full context.

Having decided upon our choice of pimp, we headed down to the shops to purchase the required ingredients (we even had to shell out on an entire pack of mustard powder, which will now sit in the cupboard for the next 2 decades, never to be used again). Note use of apron as an attractive backdrop – also essential for the authentic baking ‘experience’.

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The original account

As virgin pimpers, our primary reasons behind our choice of pimp was ease of creation, and relative chance of success. After a few false starts we decided upon the cheese lovers favourite, the TUC biscuit.

What we used:
12oz Plain Flour
8oz cooking margarine
4oz ‘mature’ cheddar (mature in that it had been living in our fridge for a while) – grated
2 eggs
1 tsp baking powder
pinch mustard powder
salt & pepper

Approximate cost of pimp – £1.70

Having decided upon our choice of pimp, we headed down to the shops to purchase the required ingredients (we even had to shell out on an entire pack of mustard powder, which will now sit in the cupboard for the next 2 decades, never to be used again). Note use of apron as an attractive backdrop – also essential for the authentic baking ‘experience’.

Flour, Stork margarine, eggs, a block of cheese, Colman's mustard and a TUC packet

We measured the dimensions of the original using both a ruler (length & width) and a micrometer (depth). We felt that to get this pimp right, accuracy was essential.

Hand holding a micrometer gauge across one normal TUC cracker on a wooden worktop

We used a basic cheese biscuit recipe, deviating slightly by adding baking powder to gain that ‘partly risen’ light quality that your bog standard TUC has. The margarine was rubbed into the sifted flour, mustard, baking powder, salt & pepper. The grated cheese was mixed in and finally beaten egg used to bind it to a doughy texture.

Melted butter poured from a jug into a bowl of flour, grated cheese and egg

The dough was rolled out to the approximate dimensions, at which point the cutting commenced. This was by far and away the lengthiest part of the pimp – as my engineer husband decided that the scale should be exact. Using a detailed template (creating used software normally reserved for designing jet fighters), he measured out the length of each side to the millimetre, even going as far to position the little decorative holes precisely.

I’d overestimated the amount of dough required (we were constrained by the size of our oven) – but not to worry – I was able to make a pile of normal sized cheese biscuits too. Mmmmmmm !!!

Hands using a set square and knife to trim a corner off rolled-out pale dough

Pricking rows of holes into the huge dough slab with a skewer, small TUC held alongside

After a painstaking 30 minutes of measuring, re-measuring, cutting and ‘making holes’, our beast was ready for the oven. Hopefully you’ll agree all the metrological (the official term for measuring stuff) effort was worthwhile.

Unbaked yellow cracker on a lined tray, corners cut off and docking holes already pricked

20 mins at 190º and no baking related disasters later, and our first pimp was done. To get the authentic TUC taste, a small amount of salt was sprinkled on the top, before allowing it to cool for transfer to plate. It’s the daddy of all cheese biscuits. Ladies and gentlemen – I give you MONSTER-TUC!!!!

Baked giant TUC filling a dinner plate, with a normal TUC cracker below for scale
It’s tucing great!

And how does it taste? One word – TUCTASTIC!

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