by for £25.54

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Total cost: £25.54
Total weight: 6.4kg
Total Calories (based on 100x normal Snickers)= 30,100 calories

1.5kg Roasted and Salted Peanuts
4 tins condensed milk
3kg caster sugar
6 bars Chocolate (1.2kg)
1kg tin Golden Syrup
9 Large Free Range Eggs
2 Packs Butter (16oz)
Splash of milk
Another 6 bars chocolate, because we didn’t have enough (1.2kg)
A bit more than a capful of vanilla extract
One fish kettle (never used, but cleaned and lined just in case)

Lay out the ingredients.
Clean the kitchen, then lay out the ingredients again. Take photo, ensuring a wire is visible (like most other pimpin’ projects). Consider puns about Tupacs of butter. Think of nicknames for this gargantuan Snickers bar...

Scour the whole town to find unsalted peanuts; discover only Tesco and Morrisons open, salted will have to suffice. Wash them under the tap (bit risky, but thankfully it works). A quick rub down with a towel gets rid of most of the water, but they’re not quite dry enough.

Consider baking them in the over, but choose to give them a workout in a large pan.

Using a wok, toss the nuts flamboyantly in the air, over a medium flame. (Ainsley Harriot has a lot to answer for).

Pick nuts up off floor, throw in bin and stop being an arse. Start again, heating the nuts slowly and more sedately over a small flame.

Melt chocolate in a bain-marie (bowl in a wok), then put in the bottom of the fish kettle. (Although it sounds pretty manky, the fish kettle has never been using for fish, but was lined with baking parchment just in case.)

In goes the chocolate to form the base!

Mix the nuts in with the first lot of caramel! (take arty photos of nutty caramel).

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