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Next up, the sponge:

Good Housekeeping Sponge Recipe: Mix 2oz sugar with 2oz margarine, add 1 egg then 2oz self raising flour. Mix thoroughly. Scale ingredients as required. Cook at 180C for 10-15 minutes. Cool. Serve with Kristal and gold jewellery. Pimpin’!

In the meantime, back to the Disturbing Orangey Bit. It’s set beautifully, but we now have the problem of getting it out of the dish; turning it upside down and banging the plate has no effect. We decide to mull it over while having a brew.

One cup of tea later, we impetuously shove it in the microwave for ten seconds on 800W. Disaster; jelly goes back in fridge, upside down. Chefs seek therapy.

Thirty minutes later, with the aid of grease proof paper and a fish slice, our jelly has been coaxed out of the dish onto the now finished Victoria Sponge.

Next step is to melt the chocolate, in the traditional way. For reference, we’re using a pyrex bowl in a metal pan with boiling water from the kettle, and no additional heat.

Making sure that the chocolate isn’t so hot it’ll liquefy the Disturbing Orangey Bit, we pour it on. A bit of deft spoonwork ensures that we have the classic Jaffa pattern. Into the fridge for 30 minutes.

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