I knew a friend of mine liked Crunchie bars, so what else was there to do for her birthday than Pimp Her Snack?

I used about 3 kg of sugar, 1.25 kg of chocolate, small amounts of baking soda and vinegar and a shoebox.

First off, cut the shoebox in two, fiddle about, and do whatever it takes to make a long cardboard mould to give the Crunchie shape. Line it with foil - it might be an idea to grease this, so the foil doesn't stick to the caramel.

Melt the three kilos of sugar - get it really hot, and when it starts to change colour, take it off the heat. Add some baking soda - a couple of tea spoons out to do, and then a few splashes of vinegar. This will make the mixture very angry, so stir it like hell to try and stop it going everywhere and making a terrible mess of your kitchen (it's easily remedied by warm soapy water). Pour it in the mould and give it a couple of hours to set.

Turn the beast out onto some foil, and melt about 750g of the chocolate. Smother the top and sides - really go for and get it pretty thick. This will need to cool overnight unless you have the world's most gangsta fridge.