Behold! The Choc Dip Daddy! Can I get a witness? Recognise.
2 CHOC DIPS (1 FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES, 1 FOR COMPARISON SHOTS) – 0.55p each
1 JAR OF NUTELLA – £1.28
1 PACKET OF BREADSTICKS – 0.48p
1 LARGE EMPTY TAKEAWAY COSTA COFFEE CUP – free!
1 MULLER CRUNCH CORNER (FOR PACKAGING) – 0.37p
ACCESS TO COLOUR PHOTOCOPIER
UNLIMITED AMOUNTS OF "DARK & STORMY" COCKTAILS (OPTIONAL)
Research and preparation was undertaken before this pimp was attempted at PIMP RESEARCH FACILITY HQ. It involved eating a choc dip to determine the average amount of dippers per packet, and also to utilise the packaging. A Muller Crunch Corner was also sacrificed to the God of Pimp for packaging. It’s hard work this pimping lark, innit?
After eating your delicious choc dip, use a breadknife to carefully cut one side of the choc dip packaging. Make sure you keep the lid too. Do not cut off any digits during this process. This could severely impair your pimping ability. Photocopy packaging using colour photocopier and enlarge to 3 times normal size, ensuring your bloody stumps do not leave marks all over them.
Pour yourself and fellow pimper a hearty "dark and stormy" to get you in the pimpin’ mood. Cover your empty cup in white paper to disguise greedy money-grabbing corporate logo. No-one needs to see that shit. As a flamboyant touch we balanced the crunch corner on top toget a sneak preview of how it might turn out. Lookin’ good!
Have another big swig of your "dark and stormy". Damn that shit tastes good.
Take your detached Muller Corner and fill with lots and lots of lovely Nutella. Mmmmmmm. Lick spoon clean.
Stick your photocopied label to the cup. Attach the corner to the inside of the cup, and feel smug at how well you and your pimp sista are doing. Congratulate yourselves by having another "dark and stormy".
You’re nearly there! Cut down 10 breadsticks to size, add them to the cup and top with the lid. Marvel in awe at the beast you have created. Take may shots from many angles, to fully capture the bootiliciousness of your pimp.
I think that deserves a hi-five. Respect is certainly due. Testify.