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Bitesize Burger

Rated 54.12%
338 votes

The Ingredients:

Sesame seed bagels – For that better than burger taste!
Cheese – You decide what type… I suggest cheddar, not that rubbish orange stuff.
Beef Burgers – My mum went for the Monterey jack cheddar and Jalapeno variety…which I later decided was the pimpingest burger … like ever.
The teeniest piece of lettuce ever,
Some alphabet shape cutters and/or a knife,
And of course… one cherry tomato who was too shy to make an appearance in the group photo.

This mini pimp popped into my head the morning of this feat of engineering when I looked at a very small piece of bagel which I had nibbled into a circle (don’t ask why) and realised how burger-esque it looked. “BLIMEY, I could make a mini burger” I proclaimed to my mum who wasn’t really listening. I then went to school and when I came home good old mum (not old…just a figure of speech… honest) announced she bought burgers! My eyes lit up. Apparently I win at subliminal messaging.

I forced her to cook the burgers ASAP so that I could have a bash at a mini pimpage! On rummaging through the cupboards for a circular cookie cutter I was extremely excited when I found alphabet shaped cutters!(well… mum did.) The word PIMP shot into my head, and I immediately toasted a bagel.

Toast the bagel much lighter than I did in order to make cutting easier, and make sure your “I” is much less thin than mine. It helps later, trust me.

Attempt to cut out the letters from your now crispy (but less crispy than mine) bagel making sure you cut each letter twice, once from the sesame part of the bagel (for the top of the burger) and once from the bottom.

Take a break to take fantastic pictures of mumsy-wumsy (A.K.A mum) majestically flipping the beautiful, greasy burgers.

Finish cutting the word out of the bagel. View the imprints of the letters which have left burning imprints in your hand and then arrange the bagel and letters for a beautiful picture.

Allow idea to pop into your head to have a thin slice of tomato; Bound over to mum asking if we have any cherry tomatoes; rejoice when the answer is yes.

At this point I suggest you find someone with a big sharp knife and dexterity. That is the important part.

Cut ridiculously thick burger in half and then attempt to cut out letters, once again without getting burns in the shape of the word PIMP, as cool as it would be I would rather not have them.

Add to the fantastic arrangement from before:

Attempt (yes I said attempt again) to cut out the letters from the cheese. This took me about 4 or 5 attempts to cut out the first “P”.

Paste Ketchup or mustard onto your stupidly small pieces of bagel, tear a tiny piece off of the lettuce and add to burger, with a small square slice of cheese.

Oh did I forget to mention I was also making a mini normal burger too? Oops.

You will notice I had to plunge a cocktail stick through the letter “I”. This is due to constant collapsage.

I then wolfed down the bitesized beauties pausing for a moment to allow pictures to be taken. Yum.

I think now that I will always have a burger in a bagel… it tastes great!

Estimated cost… about… 2 quid? This is based on the fact that it is so small, perhaps less.

All I know is that the burgers cost £1.69 … go mum!


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