Battenberg GTi Turbo
by for £15.00

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Caster Sugar
Self-Raising Flour
Apricot Jam
Food Colouring

This is one fatty-boom-batty cake. Creation time was measured at approximately 6 hours, plus 4 hours of heated discussion with wife sulking over creative differences. Husband stayed cool and calm at all times.

1. After explaining that the wife's bum has never looked big in anything, ask politely if it's at all possible if she could make you 8 rectangular cakes 4 pink 4 yellow, before retiring to the lounge and watching football for two hours. Return to kitchen 4 hours later to check on your masterpiece.

2. Trim cakes and lay out on tray. Never, and I mean never, mention that 4 cakes are of sub-standard quality and would benefit from being remade.

3. Wipe blood from forehead and agree cakes are fabulous.

Rated 85.62 /100 - 552 votes (4.3/5)

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