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Baked Bean Castle

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When challenged by a friend to come up with a pimp of worth proportions I had to delve deep into my childhood to find something magical, edible and super-sized.

And lo…….my mind flickered towards the Baked Bean Castles I made with my sausage, mash and beans as a child (and maybe, from time to time, still). Savoury – yes! But, like, big!

The ingredients:

5kg of Potatoes
4 tins of Heinz Baked Beans (415g each)
16 Sainsbury’s Large Pork Sausages
20 Sainsbury’s Cocktail Sausages
Milk
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!
Salt (trace)
Lego Man, Toby (Castle owner)

The snack recipe has a simplicity that would make Sloth from The Goonies blush! To begin the 36 sausages were carefully placed on a baking tray and pricked to avoid a meat disaster!

Next 5 kgs of potatoes were peeled. Joy? No. Hell on Earth. However, my mood lifted on completing the task……the sight of 5kgs of peeled potatoes is a truly beautiful thing.

The potatoes were placed in boiling water to soften them and make ready for mashing. Meanwhile, in the vicinity of the oven……the sausages cooked.

To ease the pressure on the hobs the Baked beans were moved into microwave-proof Tupperware ready to be nuked. Toby, the kidder, did some laps.

In no time the potatoes were ready to be mashed! In the distance the sausages continued to cook….

In the time-honoured tradition, the potatoes were mashed with a potato masher. Milk, fake butter and salt were added to the mix.

The walls of the castle were then crafted from the mash.

The Baked Beans (post-nuke) were tipped into the walls of the Castle. Further mash was then delicately dumped on top of the beans to make the roof. The last of the potato was then sculpted into turrets.

Sausages were removed from the oven without incident. The large sausages were placed around the base of the castle walls for stability and effect. Two made the castle doors; one the flag pole. The cocktail sausages were used to further define the turrets.

The new owner, Toby, was very happy and waved me farewell…..

Postscript:

Following a Big Bad Wolf-style tragedy, the Castle fell. I was left with four meals as that in the picture below. Not sure what happened to the Lego man. Think I ate him.

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