Pimp That Snack
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Snack-a-Jack Attack

About this build

Popcorn is bound with melted dairy toffees and cream, then pressed into a round container to recreate an oversized caramel Snack-a-Jack.

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Snack-a-Jack Attack

What the original account establishes

These notes distinguish the recorded result from quantities or settings the contributor did not specify. Follow each source link to the original passage.

  • The frying pan in the first photograph was abandoned for a plastic container. Popcorn stood in for the polystyrene of a Snack-a-Jack, and the unpopped kernels were picked out of the bowl, a job the account puts at 14 hours, and cast into the neighbours’ barbecue. A bag of dairy toffees was microwaved and poured on, with some cream to loosen what the maker calls toffee-edition No More Nails, and the whole was bound by hand, which burned. It was sealed into the plastic container, set in the fridge, dropped out with a little cajoling and cut for a cross-section; the maker gives the weight as 500g and jokes it is still only half a calorie. Source 1 · Source 2 · Source 3 · Source 4 · Source 5 · Source 6 · Source 7 · Source 8 · Source 9

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The original account

Please note that due to lack of premeditated pimp planning the frying pan in the shot was totally abandoned for a strange plastic container thing which could only have been designed for pimping snacks. Watch out for it later on. You’ll be impressed.

Now we all know that Snack-A-Jacks are made from polystyrene, which is the main reason this snack requires a good pimping, and also only has half a calorie per coaster – so, for taste based necessity, popcorn was used as the basic building block for this snacky upgrade. Still only half a calorie, obviously. Please acknowledge the amazing quality of the ‘pouring the popcorn’ action shot. It’s all going on here!

Freshly popped popcorn and a few unpopped kernels filling a large stainless steel mixing bowl

Hmmm. There appears to be an awful lot of unpopped kernels in the mighty mixing bowl.14 hours later we have carefully extracted the legitimate popcorn from it’s unworthy brethren. This bowl of wasted, unfulfilled, sanctimonious (possibly) rabble of the damned was cast into the fiery pits of Nextdoor Neighbours Barbeque for later, minor explosive, comedic value.

Next pour on the recently nukeowaved bag of dairy toffees… perhaps the addition of some cream would have a positive effect on the general consistency of the bowl of gunge… that’s it! We have No More Nails limited ‘Toffee Edition’.

Molten toffee poured from a pan onto the bowl of popcorn

Now, how are we to bind these new bedfellows? Umm… Ahhh… What if we… Frelk it, I’ll stick my hands in it.

Both hands plunged into the bowl, mixing sticky toffee through the popcorn

Oh! Oh! It burns! My flesh! Bonding with toffee! Why?! Now I am one with the popcorn. I’m going to need replacement hands! Behold plastic container thing!

Toffee popcorn pressed flat into a round white plastic tub to set

Seal her up and condemn her to the cold embrace of the refrigerator. Before us we see the unused saucepan of ill-concept. The unnecessary chocolate of despair, and the structurally challenged Pyrex basin of doom. And a Poo clock.

With a little cajoling out drops our masterpiece.

Side view: the deep popcorn slab on a tray dwarfs a normal caramel rice cake

Obligatory cross-sectional pictorial rendering.

The finished giant cake on a pizza tray with a wedge cut out, next to a bitten original

Mmmmmm… 500g yet still only half a calorie.

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