Pimp That Snack

Death in Viennese

by RVC Girlies 9 photos Rated 60% 176 votes when voting closed

We are vet students who have far too much time on our hands – so we decided to pimp an apple pie, however this seemed too hard so we actually did a biscuit, not any biscuit a FOX’s CHOCOLATE VIENNESE!!!!!

Coloured fridge magnets spelling PIMP MY SNACK on a fridge door

Ingredients:

300g butter
300g plain flour
150g sugar
2 x 400g jars of chocolate spread
tsp cinnamon
lots of spare time.

Flour, sugar, two jars of Cadbury chocolate spread and a pack of Fox's Viennese biscuits on a worktop

This pimp is minimal on ingredients, but in retrospect following a proper recipe would be good – as you will see later, butter is bad!

Creaming butter and sugar with a wooden spoon in a large mixing bowl

We are women, so we can cook (though i’m not so sure anymore) and we did it properly – creaming the sugar and butter then adding the rest – GET US! We then put the beast on a “baking tray” to cook slowly for an hour.

Pressing ridged biscuit dough into a heavily greased roasting tin by hand

We tried to make it look as much like an actual Viennese, check out the artistic skills. Note – DO NOT USE THIS MUCH GREASE – EVER!!! It is a health hazard.

Blotting the baked biscuit slabs with kitchen paper, pressing down with a spoon

We told you so!!! Butter is bad! Fear not – the pimp continued, regardless of the fact our Viennese turned into a pool of grease when ovened.

Two pale biscuit slabs baked flat, each filling half the roasting tin

However, we recovered the operation, and you can see the resemblance – if you squint and have drunk a bottle of vodka.

Now, fill with 2 jars of chocolate spread – this will help keep the biscuit together, but proves difficult to manoeuvre when building the biscuit. NOTE – do not eat too much of the spread as you go along – health hazard no 2.

Spooning thick dollops of chocolate spread onto one biscuit slab laid on foil

A success?!

The finished giant sandwich biscuit on a red board, a normal-sized biscuit beside it for scale

A resemblance? In closing, this pimp should not be eaten by 1 person in 1 attempt, distribute among the friends you don’t really like that much, or alternatively dare a drunk person to eat it all and watch them throw up.

Giant slab of Viennese biscuit oozing chocolate filling on a red board, a normal biscuit alongside

VITAL STATISTICS.

Original – 6.2g 85calories
Pimped – 1kg 7576 calories. = death

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