Boom Tart
I had promised myself at the begining of my senior year that I would make
myself a giant Pop-Tart before I graduate and bring it to school. After a
massive spell of procrastination, fifthteen days before graduation, it was
time to bake. Yes I know. Its been done. But why not try blueberry this
time
INSTEAD of strawberry? The Boom-Tart was ready to be born.
The Ingredients:
1 3lb pack of Ready-Dough
2 Boxes (16 oz. each) of Powdered Sugar
2 Jars (12 oz. each) of Blueberry Preserves
1 Jar Molasses
1 Pack of Sprinkles
Vanilla Extract
LOTS of Flour
Some Granualated Sugar
Butter-Flavored Cooking Spray
A few of the ingredients didn’t show up in the picture because I forgot.
Oh
well. I couldnt find any kind of pastry dough or pastry dough mix, and
lacked the time to make it from scratch, so I had to make do with bread
dough, which worked just fine. Also, for the record, I HATE cooking spray.
Its disgusting. I only used it to hold the flour to the pan and it was
swiftly disposed of.
Anyways… There it was… three semi-thawed blocks of bread dough… boy
was I in for it. There was another picture of me having smashed the dough
in
a bowl and having mixed in sugar aswell, but my camera is stupid.
This part was fun… or atleast interesting to say the least. Open a jar of
blueberry preserves and hold it out over an empty bowl. See how far you
get
without a spoon… nowhere. Thats right. No amount of banging, tapping or
aggrevated shaking will get any more than a single molecule of this stuff
out of the jar.
I fetched a spoon and mixed in a few spoons of Instant-Mess Malasses, only
to find that it was more watery than the jam itself. I was frustrated. It
was also bitter, and on my foot. To conterbalance the molasses, a bit of
sugar is added, as well as 60 percent of the second jar. Save the rest for
a
sandwich because even whats in the bowl will leave leftovers… for a more
desertish sandwich, giving you TWO sandwiches in one. Good deal!
While the filling was thickening, it was time to prepare the dough. I
sprayed the pan with the ozone-devouring asherent and coated it with
flour.
Cut the dough in half and throw it on the pan. I spent a good hour trying to
flatten this dough. I would push down and it would crawl back. It was if
the
floury beast was mocking me. Well, with a plastic cup and a bit of force,
I
showed it who was the cook around here. Similar process occured with layer
number two and it was finally time for the filling.
Its filling alright… Thats definetly going to make a mess. I could feel
it.
I applied the second layer, which I gave a nice glaze with a brush and
some
vanilla. It looks likes a Chicken Crunchwrap from Taco Bell. A quick pinch
around the edges and it was off to the oven.
I threw that sucker in there. 20 minutes at 400 F, and it was done. Boy
had
I called it.
So, yeah… The filling had leaked out, as predicted. Hmm… How about we
pinch those edges again… and cover it… That’ll work.
Time for the icing! Well two pounds of powdered sugar was alot… Filled
the
bowl to the top with one box, actually. I stuck with the one, threw it
roughly 2 1/2 tablespoons of vanilla extract, and 1 1/2 cups of water. I
stirred it up, (snuck in 3 tablespoons of Creamcheese Cake Icing), and
wahla! A bowl of Powdered Sugar Icing! It was SWEET.
Time for a sandwich break. Mmm, Tuna.
Pull off the towel, throw on the icing, sprinkle on the sprinkles and BAM!
An awesome pimp! That Blueberry Beast was threatening a good 2-feet in
lengh. It was a bit more than a foot wide and it was a little under 1/2 a
foot high. Its a definite Pimp. It looks a bit sloppy in the picture but
that extra leakage just stuck to the pan and left the end result looking
very pop-tarty. The filling that leaked out had the consistency of a fruit
roll-up, so it was fun to eat.
There it is. The Boom-Tart. Fridging and ready for tomorrow’s school
presentation. Im bound to get an A for sure. I tried drawing a logo but
ran
out of marker, so I didnt bother.
It cost me about 10 U.S. Dollars to make and weighed somewhere between 5
to
10 lbs.
