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Bourbon 2
by Tom Vigar for £6.00

27th April 2006

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Many renowned philosophers and wise men over the ages have realised that the bourbon biscuit whilst on one hand a tastalicious snack of goodness is also an integral foundation block on which all modern societies are based. This is fact. It is also scientific fact that there are direct correlations found between “goodness”, “calories” and “pimped out size”. Using this as our mantra we set out to pimp the very foundations on which society is built to make the world a better place for everyone. We set out to create the Pimpbon.

The ingredients were all found naturally growing on our lawn like some very strangely mutated mushrooms! We took this as a sign from nature herself that we were heading in the right direction. Further inspection of the garden yielded the following:

750g of flour
350g of caster sugar
350g of margarine
7 table spoons of golden syrup
125g of cocoa
3.5 spoons of baking soda
2 big bars of chocolate
1pot of cream
4 spoons of coffee


All the ingredients with the exception of the cream, chocolate and coffee were then mixed using my new favourite pimping weapon “ken wood the chef” whose existence I didn’t even know of until this project was undertaken.

Here is an action shot to get you pumped:

After much mixing and almost breaking under the strain our faithful friend produced this ball of brilliance:

The ball of brilliance was then cleaved in half by the biggest knife we could find in the house. I recommend using a claymore for this in the future if you can get your hand on one. (please note the authors recommendation to use weapons as cooking utensils is not necessarily a good one).

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