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The Bombay Behemoth
by Hugh Dalton for £5.77

8th October 2006

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27 packets of dry noodles are emptied into the bin – thank god their only 8p per pack. (That’s 1.7Kg of dry noodles by the way). Their mined in Wales apparently…

The raw ingredients for the ‘powder’ are mixed together. I have deliberately used hot curry powder. It is supposed to be a hot snack after all!

The powder is tipped onto the top of the dry noodles and the lid sealed - like a spicy sarcophagus.

Fortunately, unlike the ancient Egyptians, our sarcophagus is opened again very soon and, in true keeping with pot noodle “cooking instructions” we add boiling water (15 litres in total – our kettle nearly had a nervous breakdown)

It’s alive!!! The beast is complete. It did take a lot more stirring and considerably longer to cook than it’s diminutive companion, but it did cook properly. Total final weight: just over 17000g. That’s 68 times the size of the original and a whopping 27540 kcal (calories)! Now if I could just find a 30 foot tall student to buy it!

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