Mootated Milk Biscuit
by Al Napp for £5.00

25th June 2006

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“Hey Al, Have you seen the ‘Pimp that Snack’ website”
“Yes Sam, Want to do one?”

Two weeks later Sam & John Visit us (Al and Marcia (plus Ivy and Eric)) with a mission – Pimping A Snack.

Moo-cow biscuits. What, apart from a smart clip around the ear from a passing bobby, better conjures up long lost childhood memories? Well, actually, there are lots, but its still one of those strange things we all felt nostalgic pangs for.

We had stocked up on some likely looking ingredients, a big bag of sugar, lots of margarine, heaps of cheap flour – we dashed out and got some Horlicks for the maltyness and away we went.

That done, some pimpin’ action was needed.

First, how big could we do it? We selected Marcia’s Largest baking tray, a handily sliding thing that allowed us to find the biggest size in proportion to a real Malted Milk. We used a very complex and scientific technique to achieve this – holding one in front of the other. Total eclipse of the Pimp.

Now some serious scribbling, turns out our Pimp is exactly seven time the size of a mere mortal malted milk. Luck is on our side as Ivy’s just learned her 7 times table.

Now for the lettering, fiddling with the “inspiration” image helped refine the lettering a bit. Printing this out at 78% gave us a 1-1 size template for that, while the more artistic amongst us hand drew the other parts.

For the Biscuit we creamed 2 cups sugar, 4 cups Margarine and 1 Cup Horlicks

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