Coco-Chanel Boost
by for £11.13

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I chose the coconut boost to pimp because a) I loved coconut boosts and it makes me sad that you can't buy them anymore and b) because no-one else has done it yet.

First things first, I needed to have a pimpin' soundtrack. As the coconut boost had been discontinued, I wasn't able to find inspiration in one, so I decided to be inspired by music from the hay-day of the coconut boost. (Cue some cheesy 90s music)

Now for the ingredients:

2 tins condensed millk (I did consider going for light, but really…)
2 big bars dairy milk (Gotta be Cadbury's nothing else will do (besides Morrison's didn't have any cheapo own brand - also, if I had any left over, I wanted the best!)
4 yoghurts (Luscious low fat Rachel's Organic - highly recommended)
2 bags desiccated coconut
Icing sugar
2 bags toffees (Now this was el cheapo Morrison's own)

Total cost: £11.13

The more astute among you will have notices the somewhat out of place pack of four yoghurts. I'm including these in the list of ingredients and total cost as I bought them at the same time, then completely forgot about them so they were sitting out all night and I had to bin them :o(

At this point, the music must have inspired me and I realised that I had been too blinkered by the discontinuation of Coconut Boosts to realise that there were alternatives that I could use for inspiration, the Star Bar (which used to be a Peanut Boost) and a Boost (used to be Biscuit Boost, but is now laced with glucose and is marketed as an energy bar – how much sugar do you need in one bar of chocolate). So a wee trip to the shop later, I have two bars of chocolate for inspiration. Oh, yeah, and a couple of scratchies, which I didn't win anything on, so the total cost is now: £11.13 plus £2.83 = £13.96. (Actual price about £8.50 - see later.)

I'm feeling a little annoyed at this point as the girls are all in the park having some beers, the boys are all down the pub watching the footie and it's a lovely sunny evening.

But, there are prizes at stake, so down to the pimping.

First order of business is the yummy coconut middle. I took inspiration from my Auntie Jane's recipe for bounty bars; for this I mixed together the two bags of coconut, some icing sugar about 6 tablespoons), which I sieved (no-one likes lumps – unless you are the Black Eyed Peas – but I don't think they are the same....) and one of the tins of condensed milk (I added this gradually as I had no idea how much I would need, but handily enough one tin was just right).

Once this was all mixed together I pondered how to get it into a nice sausage shape without it going all over the kitchen. I decided on the ziplock bag approach. Which I then squished and rolled to make a sausage:

This worked rather nicely. I was feeling quite pleased with myself at this point, particularly because the coconut mixture was so damned tasty. Kudos to Auntie Jane.

This now went into the freezer to chill.

Now, the sticky bit.

Into a pan go the two lovingly and painstakingly unwrapped bags of toffees (I should say at this point that I was feeling a little done as there was a wrapper without a toffee in the bag - damn thieving so and so Morission's toffee packers). Perhaps because I'm still peeved at being done out of a toffee, I don't pay attention at this point and the heat is up too high so I burn a little bit on the bottom, but it recovers well. I am getting worried at this stage though as the toffees were very hard and I'm concerned this won't make a very tasty layer in my boost, at least not one that you can easily eat. Whilst pondering what to do about it; milk, butter or what, I see the tin of condensed milk that I didn't use. Perfect. I give this a go.

This works a treat (I used about half the tin). And it is oh so delicious.

I've decided to go for the Swiss Roll approach to building my Boost, so I pour out the toffee into a square. (At this stage I get the coconut sausage out of the freezer to measure it. I find it is 24cm long with a diameter also of 24cm – couldn't have done that if I had tried!!)

I was going to pour it out onto tinfoil, but disaster strikes; there is no where near enough tinfoil for the job. So greaseproof paper it is.

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