Big’n’scary Fairy Cake

A classic of English cooking, made bigger and better.

I started off with the ingredients for a basic Vicky Sponge, but added half-as-much-again as the recipe specified. As an old woodwork teacher of mine once said, if you can’t do a good ‘un, do a big ‘un….

6oz / 180g Caster Sugar
6oz / 180g "Well I never, I never would guessed that was margarine"
3 eggs
6oz / 180g Self-Rasing Flour
Another 3oz / 90g "Well I never, I never would guessed that was margarine",
plus 8ox / 250g icing sugar, for the butter cream icing.

The first step was to cream together the sugar and butter-substitute (gotta keep healthy). Easy done. Next up was the eggs; beat them together and start combining them with the mixture.

Hmmm…mixing the eggs was taking a bit too long. Maybe it was time to bring in the big guns. Yeah, you’re reading that right. There’s 600 watts of power in that baby. Now that’s the kind of power tool a pimper needs in the kitchen. Not only does it make short work of the eggs, but it also dealt very nicely with mixing in the flour.

Once everything was mixed together, it was ready to go into a baking tin. Note the greaseproof paper and butter-substitute used to grease the inside of the tin. Your pimping experience – like any experience in life – should not be spoiled by lack of adequate lubrication.

The oven was preheated to 160C, so once the mixture was put into the baking tin, the tin could be popped straight in to bake.

Baking took about an hour, which was more than enough time to make some butter cream icing. After a spell in the oven, the cake was ready to be decapitated.

The top was duly sliced off the cake, and cut in half to form the wings. A more-than-generous dollop of butter cream was spread on the top, and the wings fixed in place.