Here’s the story of my mission to create the ‘Mother of All Kit-Kats’.
The Chunky Peanut Butter Kit-Kat is a wonderful, wonderful thing, and if anyone from Nestle would like to get in touch with me, email@example.com, and send me some, I would be eternally grateful. The taste is so sublime, that it makes you start to wonder, how extreme could this snack be pimped, and what would it taste like?
Inspired by this, I decided to make it my day’s mission to find out.
First things first, I need some ingredients. A quick perusal of the label shows the KitKat chunky is “Crunchy Wafer Finger, Covered with Chunky Milk Chocolate”. First stop, Sainsburys. Unfortunately, not knowing how much chocolate I would need, the 400g bar of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk, even at the special price of £2.30, looked like it would not be enough. Then I noticed Sainsbury’s own brand at 100g for 25p. I bought a bar, it was very nice, and so I went back and bought another eleven.
The only wafer I could find was Askey’s ice cream wafers, at 40p for 48 wafers. Astute readers will see straight away that’s less that 1p each. That’s the kind of bargain we like. I also needed some peanut butter from the fridge (Crunchy style, which we will later see is not ideal), and some regular KitKats for inspiration and moulding guidance. As I already had the peanut butter at home, the total spent was less than a fiver. I found two plastic dishes from a recent Chinese Take-out to use as moulds.
The next step was to melt the chocolate, and it’s here that it all started to go wrong. Without thinking of the consequences for myself or my family, I used the first plastic dish to melt two bars of the chocolate. The plan was to melt the chocolate, put the lid on the tub, turn it all upside down, and let it cool. This would form the base, the ridge that a real KitKat stands on. The top half of the KitKat would be made in the narrower bottom half of the other tub. This would leave me with two pieces, a thin layer with a wide brim, and a tall (but not as wide), main body of the snack, to go on top. I did not anticipate the result of warm chocolate in a plastic dish, in a microwave, even though I only set the timer for only 1 minute:
No, I haven’t crapped in it. That is a combination of beautiful milk chocolate and molten plastic. Picking this up out of the microwave hurt like hell and burned two of my fingers. Only five minutes in, I’ve wasted two bars of chocolate, caused injury and I have to start over. I hunt around the kitchen and find a Pyrex glass jug. Perfect. I melt the chocolate, and reconsider the plan. Unfortunately, the KitKat will no longer have a base rim, and will now be a solid block.