Pimp That Snack

Crunchie

by Jack Sugar Daddy Humphreys and Dawn Honey Muncher Olive 9 photos Rated 84% 298 votes when voting closed

Ingredients:

2 Bored students
3kg Granulated sugar
750g Fairtrade Milk Chocolate (because even pimps care!)
Half a tub of baking soda
Half a bottle of malt vinegar
1 Huge mould
Lots of aluminium foil

Approximate cost: £7, depending on where you shop. Fairtrade chocolate is a bit pricier than cheapo stuff, but hey, we’re pimps and we can pay in gold teeth.

What better snack to pimp than one with a golden centre? The Cadbury’s Crunchie is bling already, but we felt that to give it that extra gangsta quality, it needed to be pimped out. This called for a trip to the co-op and a weekend of procrastination.

Bags of sugar, baking soda, malt vinegar, five chocolate bars and a normal Crunchie beside a foil-lined box

Such a large quantity of sugar required a large mould in which to set, so here at West Wales Customs we cut-and-shut an old laptop box and lined it with aluminium foil to contain the molten syrup. Once we’d made that, we set about melting the sugar. We enlisted the help of our ho’s (that’s housemates) in this task, which took 9 pans before all 3 kilos were melted. Each pan had to be heated until all the sugar melted, then baking soda and vinegar were added quickly and the boiling, frothing, molten death-in-a-pan was poured into the mould.

Three saucepans of sugar melting on the cooker, one being stirred with a wooden spoon

Molten orange honeycomb poured from a pan into the long foil-lined cardboard box mould

Of course, no true pimp would be without its disasters, and we managed to do a burnout with one of the pans, resulting in a new custom worktop for our kitchen!

Set honeycomb erupted over the outside of the pan and pooled across the kitchen worktop

Once all the sugar was poured, the true size of the pimped Crunchie was revealed. It was the size of a human leg.

The boxed slab of set honeycomb held against a leg, running from hip to trainer

It would make a great false leg, not only would you walk with a gangsta lean, but all the shorties would want a lick!

Once we turned out the honeycomb centre, it was still really hot so we decided to use the heat to melt some of the chocolate.

Squares of chocolate melting on top of the warm honeycomb slab and spread with a knife

The rest of the chocolate was melted in the traditional method using simmering water, before being poured over the honeycomb and patterned using a palette knife.

The chocolate-coated giant bar on foil on a table, a wrapped Crunchie in front for scale

That was left overnight, due to the fact that it was too big to fit in the fridge. Once it had cooled throughout, we turned it upside down and applied the final coating of chocolate to the underside.

Giant chocolate-coated bar on foil with a normal-sized Crunchie laid alongside for scale

The final test was when we cut open the pimped Crunchie to see if the honeycomb centre looked anything like we hoped it would…

Broken open to show honeycomb inside thick chocolate, a wrapped Crunchie held above for scale

As you can see, the filling is 2 inches deep with golden goodness. A truly pimped out snack, weighing in at a whopping 3.5kg, as opposed to the usual 40g.

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