Pimp That Snack

XXXL Yule Log

by Andy Taplin, Barnaby Firth, Helen Waring, Laura Boyes, Nicola Adams and Simon Robinson 11 photos Rated 90% 1,073 votes when voting closed

Ingredients
80 eggs
2,240g golden caster sugar
800g self-raising flour
800g plain flour
32 tbsp cocoa powder
16 tsp vanilla extract
1,760g butter
2,400g dark chocolate
4,800g icing sugar
2 litres milk
4 jars apricot jam

Five trays of eggs, boxes of icing sugar, flour, cocoa, butter and milk stacked on a table

What better way to round off another busy year, than getting into the Christmas spirit, having a glass or two of mulled wine and pimping the mother of all Mini Yule Logs. And solve the annual what-do-we-stick-on-our Christmas card dilemma.

1. First stop Tesco. Probably best not worrying about chicken welfare with egg prices like that.

2. Whisk the eggs and sugar for 10 minutes. To our surprise the girls had the best wrist action. Mix in the flour, cocoa, butter and vanilla, pour in the tin and bake for 15 minutes.

Four bakers crouched on the kitchen floor, whisking cake mixture in glass and plastic bowls

3. First batch fresh out of the oven. Looks like somebody’s pimping a bourbon biscuit.

Four big slabs of chocolate sponge cooling on baking paper, ingredients and egg trays stacked behind

4. 16 sponges later and it’s assembly time. Precision cutting and molten apricot jam should be enough.

Sponge slabs joined into one huge sheet on a board while the team spreads the filling

5. Cover the sponge with a liberal coating of chocolate fudge icing. With a few tips from the professionals.

A plastering trowel spreading chocolate filling over the sponge, above a Yellow Pages open at plastering services

6. The moment we’ve all been dreading. Time to bring in the big-guns and some A1 tracing paper.

Four people smoothing the filling across the table-sized sponge sheet with a long straight-edge

7. It’s a rollover!

Three of the team rolling the filled sponge into a log thicker than a man's arm

8. Wowee! Great length and girth, yet soft and spongy to the touch. Doesn’t that look impressive.

A man in a red T-shirt pressing the rolled log tight, cocoa crumbs scattered across the table

9. Just a few finishing touches. It’s starting to look pretty Christmassy.

Icing sugar sifted like snow over the chocolate-coated log, which spans most of the table

10. Pimptastic!
Mini Yule Log – 6.5cm long, 3cm wide, 2cm high and 60g weight. 240 calories
YuXXXLe Logo – 1m long, 20cm wide and 15cm high. Weighing in at a colossal 19.25kg. And 77,000 calories. Probably.

Cut end of the giant log showing its chocolate spiral, a shop-bought yule log tiny beside it

Six bakers in Santa hats behind the finished log, a normal-sized yule log in front for scale

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