Pimp That Snack

Drumstick Lolly

by Nat & Laura 11 photos Rated 87% 737 votes when voting closed

Ingredients

As many drumstick chews as you can find on a bank holiday Monday in a garage, or several, depending on your determination. We opted for £3s worth.
Blood
Sweat
Tears

A dozen Drumstick chew packets piled up on the kitchen worktop

Process

Step 1. At a time like this, there is only one thing that can, and must be done. Drumstick-Jenga. It’s serious business guys.

Drumstick packets stacked into a tall Jenga-style tower, a finger steadying it for scale

Step 2.
The unwrapping may look like a daunting task, and it is. If you have access to a sweatshop, may we recommend utilising it.

Glass bowl heaped with unwrapped pink and white chews, discarded green wrappers spread all around

Step 3. Cut the sweets roughly in half, be precise if you can be arsed, we couldn’t.

N.B. time can be saved at this stage, though at risk of own digits and limbs, depending on clumsiness. We can accept no responsibility for injuries caused during this pimp. You have been warned.

Chopping a Drumstick chew into pieces with a knife, bowls of unwrapped chews either side

Step 4. Melt the different halves over pans of boiling water.

N.B. we would recommend using a plate as, with a little help from physics, we discovered the greater surface area greatly aided in the melting process – pimpin’ genius!

Pale pink melted chew mixture spread in a wide pan on the hob, pinker batch behind

Mmm, molten…

Step 5. Pour one of the batches of molten GOO into the mould and let it cool. Add cylindrical object to create a hole. We opted for the traditional method of a BIRO COVERED IN CLING FILM. Pour in remaining GOO.

Pale pink drumstick mixture set in a foil-lined tray under cling film, a lolly stick pressed in

Step 6. Remove the beast from the mould and grab your PLIERS! Wrestle the cling film covered biro from its prison and then replace it with a BIG STICK covered in white paper. Mmm, authenticity.

Hands peeling cling film off a set pink slab of chew on the worktop

Pliers gripping a stick being worked into the end of the pink chew slab

Step 7. Stick it to STUFF! Realise the 5 second rule for dropped cakes etc does not work in this situation.

Hand holding the finished pink chew lolly on its stick at a desk

Spend copious amounts of time removing STUFF from Drumlog. God damn.

Step 8. Compare!

The pink chew slab on greaseproof paper with a white stick, a real Drumstick lolly above

Finished giant lolly in a hand-made DRUMLOG wrapper beside a normal Drumstick lolly for scale

Add kick-ass WRAPPER! (Kudos to Nat and her paint shop skills. Oh yes.)

Please note at this time, that another use for the Drumlog would be to batter, clobber and pummel someone you don’t like, though they may DIE.

N.B. this beast has incredible adhesive properties (see step 7), so if you intend on making a wrapper that you would like to be able to get off again, cover it in sticky-back-plastic as it seems to resist the DRUMLOG’s powers.

Step 9. Consume!

Though, after licking abundant amounts of goo that got stuck to spoons, bowls, work surfaces, tea towels, floor, walls, us, we were sick at the sight of it so sent it off to a poor uni lad who is now living off its sugary goodness. Happy endings all round!

Thus is the power of the almighty DRUMLOG! Worship it or we’ll come bust a cap in yo ass. Innit.

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