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McFlurry

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The plan is simple: make a KitKat Chunky Peanut Butter McFlurry. "But surely that’s just a simple matter of crushing a KitKat Chunk Peanut into some ice cream!" I hear you say. But no; as has been previously shown the peanut butter used in the KitKat is inferior. Hence we’ll be using regular KitKat Chunkys to provide the texture; along with smooth peanut butter (the KitKat will make it crunchy enough)

Our ingredients are as follows:

2 Chunky Kitkats
Some soft-scoop ice-cream (must be soft scoop!)
A tub of smooth peanut butter
An empty McFlurry tub – you made need to purchase and consume a mini-egg McFlurry to obtain this. Alternatively, just bother chavs in McDonalds until they agree give you theirs. If you take the latter approach, it’s recommended to carefully clean and disinfect the tub first.

First we freeze the KitKats to make them more brittle, then remove them from their wrapper and wrap them in some cling film. We then crush the KitKats – for this we hit them with a rolling pin. You may wish to use a different implement. As a rule of thumb, any item capable of producing enough blunt trauma to the head to kill a man should be sufficient.

The next step is to heat the peanut butter, this will allow it to obtain the consistency required, ie. runny. We did this by placing the jar of peanut butter into boiling water. You may also wish to simply microwave it, but should this result in explosions, burnt butter, or the invasion of a third world country, we are not responsible.

Once the peanut butter is sufficiently liquid-esque, add it to the ice cream. You may wish to leave the ice cream out of the freezer for half an hour to allow it to become more malleable. This is the tricky part: you want to stir in the peanut butter without turning the ice cream to slush. That is why we purchased soft scoop ice cream. If in a bout of sheer folly you attempt this pimp with harder ice cream, we can only offer you our best wishes and good luck.

We then do the same with the KitKat bits, and all that’s left is to pop it into a genuine McFlurry tub:

And the McPimp is complete:

Perfectionists amongst you may wish to place this in the freezer for half an hour. A little bit of label pimpage later and the creation is complete:

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