Kinder Egg - Pimp Edition
by for £10.59

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Surfing the site on Friday night my sister and I (hereafter referred to as team pimp) got to talking about the direction in which our lives were going. Shamed by the achievements of the pimping community we decided that our happy family lives and thrusting careers counted for nothing - the only thing to be done was to pimp our own lives back onto the tracks. But what to pimp??? As first timers maybe we should've considered a simple pimp ..... but no ...... in our desire to impress we opted for that icon of happy European childhoods ..... the kinder egg .... ours would be a monster weighing in at 2kg ...... a whopping 100 times the weight of the original.

Saturday 0900 hrs:

First to the shops where we purchased;

6 x 200g bars white chocolate
7 x 200g bars milk chocolate
1 x packet of 12" balloons ( pearlised white suitable for helium but not for children under 3 )
9 x kinder eggs ( 3 for photographic purposes, 6 for research and consumption )
1 x 6" length of butchers twine ( store cupboard ingredient )

Saturday 1200 - 1430hrs

This was the research and development stage of the project. Following an early explosion - which covered the pimp team and a 7 year old assistant in hot white chocolate not to mention the kitchen/lab - we experimented with ways in which to fill balloons that would avoid the risk of popping. We had decided by this stage that the balloon was the way to go to achieve the egg shape and attempted filling several from the multipack with the following; expanding foam (expensive, smelly, ruins your clothing, damages the lawn and doesn't work), sand, flour, sugar, beans from child's beanbag (very sensual but again doesn't work). Having exhausted all of the above we decided to take a calculated risk and allow the chocolate to cool more thoroughly before dribbling over air inflated balloon.

Saturday 1600hrs

Having suspended balloon from kitchen cupboards by string we built up layers of white chocolate using the dribbling method and left to cool and harden.

Saturday 2000hrs

With the white chocolate now hardened we repeated process with the brown milk chocolate. The dribbling process was less satisfying with the brown chocolate and the team found it went a bit gloopy as it dribbled from the top to the bottom. We attempted to smooth manually but this proved fruitless.

Meanwhile in another room ...... a member of the pimp team (who wishes to remain anonymous) set about redrawing a flattened out kinder wrapper on Illustrator. This was printed out in 15 sections on A4 paper and pieced together jigsaw fashion with sellotape.

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