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Halloween 54321

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Anyone under the age of 20 may not remember the 54321 – it was basically a chocolate biscuit much beloved by mothers looking for a cheap, and nutritionally well rounded snack for their child’s lunchbox.

The reason I think it’s so well remembered is its iconoclastic advertising campaign, which reintroduced the world to the Manfred Man classic of the same name… only the words were cleverly changed.

5—4—3—2—1, 5—4—3—2—1
First bite into real milk chocolate, 5—4—3—2—1
Then crunch into light crispy rice, 5—4—3—2—1
Chew, chew, chew the caramel topping, 5—4—3—2—1
Uh huh — wafer and fondant too, 5—4—3—2—1
5—4—3—2—1, 5—4—3—2—1

If you would like to see the advert, please go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezLzflX6r5Q – eagle eyed pimpers might spot Ted Rodgers from popular game show 321, spoofing his ‘catchphrase’ hand gesture.

My point is this; I don’t actually remember eating a 54321, but I know EXACTLY what was in them due to the song. Using the lyrics, I decided to recreate a 54321. That’s not all though – in my quest for interesting pimpage, I also decided to take advantage of the obsession the children in my street have for the Pimp banner in my van, and make something to hand out to them when they came trick or treating.

You will need

3 kg milk chocolate – £3
One box rice pops (aka cheap krispies) – 99p
48 blue riband wafer biscuits – £1.98
two bags cheap toffees – 56p
one bag Scooby doo spooky snack jellies – 99p

total cost – £7.52

Directions

1. Having no idea in what order the ingredients came, we took a wild stab in the dark. We reckoned the ‘wafer and fondant’ constituent would most likely refer to the fondant cream in a kit kat (or similar) so for ease, I decided to use ready made wafer/fondant combination biscuits. Looking in the biscuit aisle, we decided on the Blue Riband, cause they were on special offer for loads of them.

2. I decided to use the biscuits as building blocks for the bar. I opened them all, arranged into a pile, and then stuck them together with some melted chocolate. This was very time consuming, and dull, but looked fantastic at the end.

3. Next job was the chewy caramel topping. I unwrapped all the toffees, and melted them all in the microwave, WARNING cheap toffees are EXTREMELY hot when melted, and will do you damage if you get it on your skin, so for goodness sake, don’t dip your finger in and try to taste it; it’s like sticking your finger into a melted candle but ten times worse. So avoiding third degree burns, spread this on top of your chocolate pile.

4. Here I hit a problem; I was unsure where the actual ‘light crispy rice’ came into the equation. We decided to mix the rice pops into the melted chocolate and then just smear it over the bar. It was only later we found the old avert on the internet, which clearly shows a cross section, and the rice is actually in a layer just below the surface chocolate. I was a bit gutted by this, as now I appeared to have made what is in essence a Toffee Crisp.

5. Feeling like a bit of a failure, I went for gusto with the Scooby snacks. The little jelly sweets I picked up came in two varieties, with 5 of each, which cheered me up no end because I am an obsessive compulsive freak, and they made a perfect alternating pattern on top.

6. Now, a cross section. That toffee was actually very very chewy, and the chocolate was about an inch thick at the base. It took a massive bread knife to chop that mutha open.

7. I tried to make a wrapper with cool creepy writing on it, and the legend ‘five frights to a bar’ (based on the advertising tagline for the 54321), but whilst I’m pretty good at making pictures and stuff, I am clueless as to how t print them out to the right size. After I used a whole ink cartridge trying, I gave it up as a bad job. This is the graphic I was going to use, which I reckon would have looked ace if I had any sort of sense.

8. So, we’ve got a huge hallowe’en themed chocolate bar. So how best to spread the word of Pimp That Snack whilst children come to the door wearing a cheap Scary Movie ‘doped-up’ face mask begging for treats? Give ‘em a lump of retro goodness, wrapped in tin foil with the following label!

9. You may be wondering why there aren’t any photos of cute kids in costume smiling with their 54321. The truth of the matter is, the couple of photos I got were too dark to see anything on, because I am a fool and was so excited about the effect of our glowing pumpkin lantern, I forgot to turn our porch light on.

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