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Gingerbread Man

Rated 81.75%
314 votes

Take one old faithful recipe from a 1970’s children’s cookbook….

100g (4oz) Plain flour
25g (1oz) Brown sugar
50g (2oz) Margarine
75g (3oz) Golden syrup
1 teaspoon ginger
½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
But you’ll end up needing to double this!!

Decoration:
Marzipan (lots of)
Chocolate (1 bar)
Silver balls
Desiccated coconut
Writing icing

Estimated cost: 7 quid

Begin by mixing rum and coke for all. Drink rum while arguing whether to double the recipe or not. Liam thinks a recipe for 12 gingerbread men will be plenty…

Problem! No weighing scales! However, clever 70’s book is telling us 1oz is a tablespoon so off we go!

Cream margarine and sugar until your hand aches while everyone else has a White Russian!

Add everything else and mix it up good and proper. Problem! Supposed “dough” is more of a thick cream! Realise Gav has been using a dessert spoon to measure ingredients so its all a bit wrong… just keep adding more flour ‘til it looks doughy! Add a bit more sugar and ginger so it tastes nicer!

Grease all available baking trays and spread out mix onto one in a circle to make a giant gingerbread head. Spread more mix onto another tray in 2 rectangles for arms. Problem (again!) the mix has run out (Liiiiiiammmm…) so start again and make another batch. Spread this on more trays to make a torso and legs. Put all pieces in oven for 15 mins at gad mark 4. Have another White Russian.

Pimp head seems to emit some kind of pimp aura in the oven!

Hurrah! All parts of pimp are baked! And also stuck rock solid to the trays! Chip off using various knives and bendable spatula type things! Patience is a virtue… too hasty and they just break!

Arrange on the only surface in the house big enough for this pimp daddy of all gingerbread men… the coffee table!

Commission a marzipan fashion designer to make pimp clothes and decorate liberally with silver balls for bling! Feel too drunk to continue productively. Admire work done so far and go down the pub!

Next day (complete with hangover) roll out large sheets of marzipan and make hat, coat, pimp cane and pimp gold star glasses. Pimp that coat by covering with melted chocolate and coconut for a fake fur effect. Add fur trim and feather to pimp hat. Top pimp cane with one of the meringues left from the night before’s sweet binge! Decorate with writing icing… add more bling with a pimp chain and more silver balls!

Et voila! Gingerbread pimp daddy is complete!

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