Pimp That Snack

Wembley Arena

by Simon Marsh and David Rees 8 photos Rated 55% 203 votes when voting closed

We decided that there were not enough snacks to replicate without copying other peoples and running the risk of being sued. There was only one thing to do… make a football pitch.

Ingredients:
Galaxy chocolate, 950g
Dairy Milk chocolate, 550g
Icing sugar, 150g
Jelly Babies, 2 bags
Apple flavoured bubble gum, 2 pieces
Writing Icing, 4 tubes
Candy sticks, 2 boxes
Green food colouring, half bottle ( 7 years out of date )
Marshmallows, 1
Cadbury Fingers, 1 box ( unused but eaten )
Strawberry lace, 1 pack ( unused but eaten )
Milky Bar, 1 slab ( not bothered with )

Estimated Cost: £13

Galaxy, Dairy Milk and Milkybar bars, marshmallows, chocolate fingers and writing icing laid out on a table

As usual it all starts with melting a load of chocolate.

Milk chocolate melting in a white enamel pan on the gas hob, a ribbon dripping in

Pour into a big tray and freeze (in fridge) for about an hour.

Melted chocolate poured from a bowl into a paper-lined roasting tin while a spatula spreads it

Next we had to create the "grass" for our pitch. However, we had far too much water and some food dye that was good to consume in around 1997. This gave us some watery, mint-green excuse for icing.

Bright green icing poured from a bowl onto the set chocolate slab to make the pitch

After buying some reinforcements in the form of more icing sugar, we finally had enough icing, and it didn’t have the consistency of water.

The lined tray covered edge to edge in glossy green icing, chocolate showing at the corners

We froze it all (again) and then took it out when we realised we needed to put the players on. However, even though the icing wasn’t a thin liquid, it was still runny. Having leaked out in great supply, it refused to hold up the jelly baby players, who consequentially all looked like they’d been at the bottle a bit too much. We opted for reinforcing the edge of the pitch with the dairy milk. We added a nice advertising board as well, just to finish it off.

Finished pitch with white piped markings, marshmallow players, chocolate finger stands and a hand-lettered scoreboard

And here we are, our great modelling and pimping skills not necessarily on show.

Two lads in loud Hawaiian shirts holding the tray-sized chocolate football pitch in the kitchen

The cross-sectional view shows that the pitch really is solid chocolate.

Close-up of a cut through the pitch, revealing chocolate and a white layer under the green icing

Finally, we had to try it. It wasn’t all that bad; depending on how strong your stomach is.

From this "little" experiment, we can deduce that it is much better to pimp something that you can copy. Prior planning, a stage we skipped entirely, is also highly recommended.

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