Bakehell Tart
About this build
A giant Bakewell tart with cherry jam, a sponge that needed rescuing, a thick icing layer and a single glacé cherry. The original account keeps the mishaps.
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What the original account establishes
These notes distinguish the recorded result from quantities or settings the contributor did not specify. Follow each source link to the original passage.
- A DT teacher recommended the site, and six GCSE study-leave friends collected glacé cherries, icing sugar, eggs, self-raising flour, milk, butter, pre-made shortcrust pastry, caster sugar and cherry jam, the rest fetched from Asda by skateboard and mini-scooter in the rain; with no scales, every weight was estimated. The frozen pastry was microwaved and came out squidgy outside and cold inside but rolled anyway, a cooking pot was lined with greaseproof paper and Flora, and the sponge for the top layer was mixed at the same time. The pastry base went into the pot with the sides made as a patchwork; one and a half bags of icing sugar and a lot of water made a deep bowl of icing. The sponge came out of the oven stabbed into a volcano and was blitzed to crumbs in a blender; the pastry base came out crumbly and weak, was eased onto a plate, spread with almost a whole pot of jam, topped with the sponge crumbs patted down, lashings of icing and a single lonely glacé cherry, then cut for the cross-section. Source 1 · Source 2 · Source 3 · Source 4 · Source 5 · Source 6 · Source 7 · Source 8 · Source 9 · Source 10 · Source 11
Notes from the contributor
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A DT teacher recommended us to this site and within ten minutes of being on the site we had to make something. After loads of thinking we came up with a giant bakewell tart. Now the idea was born but when to make it…Luckily study leave for GCSEs was only a week away so we gradually collected the ingredients from our houses and the rest was got on a skateboard and mini-scooter ride to Asda in the pouring rain. Now…
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The original account
A DT teacher recommended us to this site and within ten minutes of being on the site we had to make something. After loads of thinking we came up with a giant bakewell tart. Now the idea was born but when to make it…Luckily study leave for GCSEs was only a week away so we gradually collected the ingredients from our houses and the rest was got on a skateboard and mini-scooter ride to Asda in the pouring rain. Now we had the ingredients it was time to become snack pimps!
To make:
Glace cherries
Icing sugar
Eggs
Self raising flour
Milk
Butter
Pre-made short crust pastry (because we are lazy)
Caster sugar
Cherry jam
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First we had to defrost the pastry which was more like a delicious brick at this when we got it back to the kitchen, so we put it in the microwave and hey presto. When we started rolling it out we realised the microwave had done something weird, the outsides where really squidgy and warm but the insides remained cold and harder, luckily we still manager to roll it out.
At the same time the cooking pot was being prepared with greaseproof paper and lashings of flora pro active butter (although is still don’t think the bake well was good for our health)
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Yet another thing happening at the same time the sponge was being made for the last layer. Due to a lack of scales all weights were being estimated.
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Once the base for the pastry had been rolled out and put inside the pot we gave up on making the sides in one piece and so an elaborate patchwork of pastry was made which turnt out really quite even.
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Now came the mammoth task of the icing, it took one and half bags of icing sugar and god knows how much water to make a big ole bowl of icing, this was no ordinary bowl of icing it was a pimped bowl of icing which basically meant you could drown in it, it was that freaking deep!
When the sponge came out of the oven it was ugly, and I mean really ugly. It had been stabbed with a knife one too many times to see if it was done and this had created a volcano of sponge with liquid sponge oozing from a gash in the top. Not pretty. How could we use this monstrosity we wondered until one of us stumbled on the blender. A quick whisk later and we had a nice pile of sponge in tiny pieces.
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At round about the same time the pastry base was removed from the oven and it looked and smelled good but it was very crumbly and weak. What a sight, a humongous pastry base almost breaking under its on weight.
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After o so carefully removing it from the cooking pot and putting on a plate we spread almost a whole pot of jam on the base, I say almost because we had the national jam eating champion with us. After we spread the jam we then put the crumbly sponge bits on top and patted them down.
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Then came the lashings of icing poured all over the top of this monstrosity, and then the thing to make it all perfect…the singular glace cherry. Due to the ridiculous proportions of this thing the cherry looked rather lonely on top and we considered adding more cherries, but cherries don’t have feelings so we didn’t.
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And here is the "must be done" cross section because it would be breaking tradition to not have one.
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At a whopping 6420 calories approximately this is not normal bake well tart, we sliced it up and tried to eat it in bowls of 900 calorie portions, it made everyone feel sick apart from Luke, he devoured just over 2 bowls, a whopping 2000 calories and then started shaking then fell asleep. The whole day can be summed up in the wise words of a father, "should’nt you be looking at my porn insted of baking?"
