Fish Finger
by Henry Blanchard, Ben Norton, Hugh Moore and Phil Pickering for £7.00

29th May 2006

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Swimming in the tranquil arctic waters are 2kg of white pollock, unaware that they are about to become an integral part of one of the finest snacking pimps known to man!

We fast forward three days to join our 4 intrepid heroes, bored on a friday afternoon, when all at once, a flash of inspiration veritably sent from King Neptune himself strikes! After perusing the fine "Pimp my snack" site in an attempt to avoid post university exam boredom, One of our company suggests preparing a snack of our own- Tesco value fish fingers- 17p for 10, wham bam, thank you mam. But wait, surely we can do something more..."pimp" than that? And it is at that point that we join the fray....

The ingredients?
2kg of sainsbury's cheapest dirtiest fish (The Alaskan Pollock, the harlot of the marine world)
1 loaf of sainsbury's filthiest dirtiest whitest bread
and as many peas as could be fit in a 907 gram bag.

Estimated cost £7

Firstly, we decided to cook the fish (naturally), using every suggested method on the back of the pack. 30 minutes later, we had 2 kilos of variously boiled, poached, grilled, baked and microwaved into oblivion fish, nicely packed into a complaining blender.

As simultaneously as 4 hyperactive students could muster, we broke the bread into teeny tiny pieces, and baked it in the oven, promptly burning it. Armed with more foresight, and a fresh loaf of bread hastily borrowed from a cupboard, we oversaw the creation of half a loaf of almost baked breadcrumbs.

Then came the tricky bit- shaping the unyielding fish into a rectangle form fit to be called "a finger". But with much effort, the deed was done, and we moved on to the almost as demanding feat of attaching said incinerated bread to the newly birthed finger form.

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