Pimp That Snack

Custard Cream Dream

by Ian and Zoe 9 photos Rated 89% 4,274 votes when voting closed

A colleague from work had been raving about PimpThatSnack.com for days which resulted in him and his friends creating the Colossus Cola Bottle. He had thrown down the gauntlet amongst the office!

So what to pimp? Well that was obvious, it had to be the tastiest, sexiest, most dunkable biscuit known to man! The Custard Cream!

Whizzing round the supermarket with a trolley loaded with silly amounts of ingredients drew some strange facial expressions from onlookers, even funnier was bumping into one of the neighbours doing their weekly shopping. They now think we have an unhealthy obsession for margarine!

So ingredients…

Ingredients laid out: bags of plain flour, custard powder sachets, sugar and tubs of soft spread

First cream 200g of sugar and 400g of butter. Then sift in 600g of flour and mix up a storm!

Beating the pale yellow biscuit dough in a large plastic tub with a wooden spoon

Repeat until you have far too much mix and stick in the fridge for half an hour.

Next remove from the fridge and go at it like Mike Tyson for a few minutes just to be sure it’s well mixed! No nibbling though.

Split the mix in half, then remove some more to use for the detail. Pat it into shape on a baking tray.

Pressing the dough into a rectangular baking tray and trimming the edge with a knife

Roll out the mix kept for detail into little dough worms and place accordingly. Have patience.

Raw dough with CUSTARD CREAM lettering and scrollwork piped on top, ready to bake

Repeat to create a second humongous biscuit and stick in the oven at gas mark 3 for longer than necessary. Remove and grin.

Two baked giant biscuit slabs side by side, embossed pattern browned in the oven

For the filling mix custard powder, half a tonne of icing sugar, butter and a dribble of boiling water and mix into something resembling concrete. You’ll know it’s right when you panic at how hard it is to pull your hand out of the mix.

Beating icing sugar and custard powder into the yellow filling in a metal bowl

Sweat profusely as you turn over one of the biscuits, fearing that it will break. Spread the custard cream on.

Thick pale custard filling piled onto the baked biscuit base, kitchen scales behind

Place the remaining biscuit on top to complete your custard cream. Boil the kettle and make yourself a well deserved cup of tea. Sadly I didn’t have a cup big enough to dunk it in!

The assembled giant custard cream on a checked cloth beside a normal mug of tea

And it wouldn’t be complete without an ‘I’m a new dad’ photo! Although I think the fascial expression is more of a ‘ flipping’eck it’s heavy’ smirk!

Man in a green t-shirt holding the finished giant custard cream biscuit at chest height

The End.

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